Underwear Streaks Making Me Sick!

underwear streaks, this is one funky assDear AL:
I'm a mother of 3 beautiful children, and one funky ass husband! I don't ask for much out of life, take care of everybody and the house, but these streaks in my husbands underwear is getting on my f-ing nerves! I can't take this shit anymore!

I've told him a million times to clean his ass good, to use the whole damn roll of toilet paper if he has to, and he says he does, but he's full of shit!
I mean come on, how hard is it to wipe your ass? It's not rocket science!

Al, I know you're gona have a field day with this email, but I don't care!
If you can help me solve this problem with the streaks in my husbands underwear, I'll do your laundry! His shit is driving me crazy!

You're a guy, and I'm sure you shit your shorts before, what did you do to solve this problem?
-- Loraine, Bronx, New York

Dear Loraine:
No comment!


beadinggalinMS said...

OMG!! I have no comment either LOL :)

Rose DesRochers said...

Good answer Dr. LOL

ramblings said...

Oh Good God! I have a good question for her,
why doesn't she make him do his own shitty laundry. If my hubby did that, I WOULD NOT TOUCH HIM IN ANY WAY EVER!

How funny is this? I loved your answer by the way! Pleading the fifth?

Loraine said...

Al, this is your answer? I thought you was all knowing! You guys shit your undies because you don't know how to clean your ass? COME ON! :(

nyasha said...

the underwear says it all: "justus boyz" are capable of such ;)

Trudy Booty Scooty said...

lol! All I can say is....judging by the tone of that question...I think I know the person who wrote it! lol She doesn't have kids and she doesn't live in NY, but she IS funny and I bet her hubby does leave "tracks". LOL

Sherry said...

NO comment from me either.

Webmiztris said...

ewww! my advice is this..when you encounter a pair of undies in the wash with a shit stain, pitch them. maybe when hubby realizes he has no more undies left and has to keep running to the store for more, he'll learn his lesson!

Dear AL said...

BeadinggalinMS, Rose, Ramblings, Loraine, Sherry, when I stated that I have no comment, that doesn't mean I still shit my drawers!

That's right, Eastern Butterfly, just boyz shit their shorts!
I grew out of that ages ago!

Trudy, so who sent me that email? Is it a certain person with a infared looking profile pic? ;)

Dawn, thank you! Take heed, Loraine!

cherish said...


I have heard from my friend Kim that it is not a matter of wiping thier asses, some guys have loose gas. So when they let one rip it leaves skidmarks. Shrugs...

I am just thrilled my husband knows how to wipe!!! No skidmarks here yeahh!!!

Anonymous said...

Cherish is right, sharts could be the problem (shitty/farts).
Also, tell your husband to use the toilet paper and sort of stick his finger a little way into his bum (with the toilet paper covering the finger) and jiggle his finger around a bit to get the leftovers. Sounds like he has a problem getting it all out.. Don't ask how I know this, but the tip came from a medical source.
I'm gonna have to make this anonymous because I don't think I can handle it.

Amber said...

My husband asked me not to comment on this one... sorry.