My Girlfriend Has Long Boobies

Dear Al:
My girlfriend has long boobies. I mean they're so long they reach her belly button! They never use to be that way, but they keep getting longer and longer!
I tried to talk her into getting a breast reduction and lift, but she doesn't want to do that. She's 19 years old with boobs of an 80 year old! Al, what is she doing wrong that is making her breasts stretch that long?
-- Karen, New Jersey

Dear Karen:
Your girlfriend is either ashamed or thinks it's proper to press them back, she's wearing the wrong bras, or has a connective tissue problem. Who knows... Maybe she likes them long.

Since they're stretched to the swinging point, she needs to visit a gynecologist to have them examined, who might recommend an operation to lift those babies so she can wear the proper bra, then seek psychiatric help to deal with her size if they're large. But if she's happy with the way she looks, leave her alone, unless her boobs keeps smacking you upside the head when she makes sudden turns.

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19 comments:

Webmiztris said...

good advice, al. I would have suggested she tie her boobies in a bow and call it a day. ;)

Vengelyne said...

Wow... her boobies actually reach the belly button? Ever thought of entering them babies into the Guinness Book of Records? ;-)

Sweety said...

Wow, her belly button? Good advice!

just me said...

long boobies at 19?? Where will they reach to when she's 30? YIKES!

Chuck said...

Doesn't matter to me, because they're boobies! Erin, they probably be touching the floor at that age, then I'll be turned off!

Monika said...

I was waiting for someone who say that, doesn't surprise me that it's Chuck...

ninjaaron said...

ick

lastlifeinmyuniverse said...

um... love and accept her for the way she is ?


man im so damn original !

Dear AL said...

Dawn, I would suggest that too, but I'm not sure they're long enough.

Vengelyne, I've seen longer. Maybe if she attaches some weights she might have a chance.

Sweety, thanks! I just hope she has an iny!

Erin, I don't want to know!

Chuck, you'll probably be all over them boobies if they was that long!

Monika, do you think Chuck is a virgin?

Ninjaaron, you'll be ok!

Last, you're a regular Dear Abby, but remember, I was here first!

Monika said...

Al, I'm heading for a three lettered word...

=p

Rose DesRochers said...

Al said "Unless her boobs keeps smacking you upside the head when she makes sudden turns."

Omg, I can't stop laughing.

Caryn said...

LOL! Methinks someone has been going braless when she shouldn't...

Vengelyne said...

What? Al? You've seen boobies hanging below the belly button? Does your wife know about that??? Hmm...

Red Hot Sexy Papa said...

that is pretty strange...

The Stiltwalker said...

maybe he pulls on them too much, lol.

ms. 92504 said...

LMAO! Al your last comment made me laugh. gosh. I used to hang out with a couple of my sick buddies and we'd observe the shoppers boobs, something we did to kill time. Once there was one that had boobs that could be as big as 32FF and well we sort of joked how it could very well twisted to the back resting on the shoulders and well a lot more ways to hang them without a bra. This just made me crack

Pamalamadingdong said...

Has she considered tucking them into the waistband of her pants?

Anonymous said...

Are you kidding me? Who are you people? I can't believe you're advising this poor young girl to have breast surgery just to please her boyfriend. Maybe this guy could accept his girlfriend's natural womanhood, or she'll find someone who will. I can safely assume that both of you guys are total immature losers with no idea how to please a woman. By the way, you don't "do" anything to make your breasts a certain way...that's just the way the are. Idiots!! You obviously have no reason to be giving any "advice" to anyone.

Dear AL said...

Monika, gay?

Caryn, you might be on to something! Maybe she couldn't find her size.

Vengelyne, I was just kidding! Sheesh!

Red Hot, it happens. Just I never heard of them hanging that low at her age.

Stiltwalker, then she better purchase a whip.

Yvonne, are you calling me sick?

Pam, you want to make them longer?

Anonymouse, are you blind? Or are you just pretending that you didn't read the last part of my reponse to Karen? "But if she's happy with the way she looks, leave her alone, unless her boobs keeps smacking you upside the head when she makes sudden turns." Have a nice day!