I'm addicted to online dating, doing it since I started Rumschpringe, my rite of passage into the Amish life, but slowly the girls are getting more and more turned off by me!
The last girl I was suppose to meet at a park for a date, picked up her things as soon as she saw me, and started to walk away. When I called her name, she ran! You know how embarassing that was? I almost crushed my hat!
Since then I'm spending a few extra hours a night online to find the perfect woman, so I don't have to go through that again. Do you have any advice? -- Brother Garb, Intercourse, PA
Loose those black clothes, fuckin' shave, and stop calling yourself brother, or I'll crush your hat!
Rumspringa is your time to cut loose, specially if you live in a town called Intercourse! You should be fuckin' everybody, with a hat of course, but not the one on your head!
Just kidding, you know! Last thing you want to catch is an STD, because no one will baptize your ass with a ten foot pole!
Filed under: dating, looking, on-the-internet, relationship-problems