I'm married to the most wonderful man on the planet who is a compulsive shoplifter. Everytime we go shopping he has to steal something, usually gum or a candy bar. Yesterday he went big time and shoplifted a salami. A freakin' Salami! When we got into our car he laughed and said "look at this" while unzipping his fly. I yelled at him to wait till we're home, but he said "this can't wait", and pulled out a salami! At first it was funny until he pulled out a pack of beef jerky, and then I lost it! Al, I love my husband, but his shoplifting is too much! How can I make him stop?
-- Anne, UK
Did you eat the salami?
***Get your minds out of the gutter, people!***
Anne, I'm sure you talked with your husband about his problem, but this time you really need to put your foot down. Your husband might be suffering from a psychological disorder like depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, Bi-Polar disorder, impulse control disorder, or maybe he's just a plain dumbass. I suggest you give him a choice to either seek professional help or divorce.
He'll never make it past the casheir with a roast beef down his pants. Think about that!