I'm so crazy about this girl!

Dear AL:
There's this girl I've seen around for ages, but I can't work up the courage to talk to her. She's very popular, amazingly beautiful, and seems fun to be around. I see her alot when I'm out, and my friends try to incourage me to talk to her, but I just drink my beer. I'm so crazy about this girl! How can I get over my fear to talk to her?
-- Charlie, Idaho

Yo Charlie:
Are you a virgin?

Look, grab your balls and talk to the girl, but if you're a girl, grab your cooch. You're gona hate yourself if you don't at least try. Girls like that don't stay single forever, but if she's already taken, continue drinking.
I hope this helped.

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I need your email address

I need your email address so we can send you the e-ticket. Thanks.
-- Will, Philippines, http://gormful.com

What'chu talkin' 'bout, Willis?

Oh... The Blog Parteeh?

They want me! They want me! ***Wiping Tears of Joy***
I'll send you my email, Will, in my next life.

Hey, even if I wanted to go, it's not possible. I have a family to take care of, plus I'm late in responding to your message, but thanks for the invitation anyway!

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He shoveled his snow into my driveway

Dear Al:
My next door neighbor is an asshole! Shortly after I shoveled heavy snow off my long driveway into the street, my neighbor whos driveway is next to mine shoveled his snow into my driveway. When I confronted him before he could drive away in his mini van, he said he'll clean it up later and drove off. 10 hours later, the dickhead is home and he hasn't done shit! Al, what's the quickest to kill him?
-- Nelly, American in London

Dear Nelly:
Since this guy has a mini van, he must be married, so the next time you see him with his wife, say thanks for the massage, then run for your life so she doesn't kill you too.

About your driveway, park in his. Problem solved!

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Boyfriend thinks Bloggers are needy fruitcakes

Dear Al:
Forever me and my boyfriend always gave etch other space to do whatever we wanted, like I let him go sking with his buddies and he lets me go on trips with the girls, but for the first time he doesn't want me to do something. My boyfriend wont let me go to the Blog Parteeh this year. He says Bloggers are needy fruitcakes looking for attention, except for me since I don't have a blog.

Some of my favorite bloggers are going to the Blog Parteeh and I really want to go and meet etch and every one of them. How can I convince my boyfriend to let me go?
-- Shari, Philippines

Dear Shari:
Maybe if you him something he might let you go.

Personally I don't see the big deal about this blog party, but you are your own person, and if your non-blogging self wants to go, GO! It's a snowball's chance in hell, but if you manage to get in, say hello to my fellow fruitcakes, except for this guy on the right.


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She doesn't love me any more.

Dear AL:
I'm a long time reader of yours and blog friend, and when I discovered you stopped blogging I almost died! Choked on my Cornflakes! Thankfully I have your old email address, so I hope you don't mind me asking you for help.

For the last few weeks my Boss has been ignoring me like I don't exist. We still talk business, but she doesn't rub my shoulders or pat my butt anymore. I miss that! I know to someone else this would be sexual harrassment, but this person is the girl of my dreams.

I didn't become ugly over night, so what gives?
-- Davis, Idiana

Yo Davis:
I don't know who the hell you are, but you must be ugly. Why else would she be giving you the cold shoulder?

She must have heard rumors about your looks, and to verify this she had her eyes checked which resulted in her first pair of glasses, then "Bam!" she disinfected her hands, never to touch your ass again!

Seriously, dude, she probably just wants to keep things professional in the office, so you better back off. Nobody likes needy people, specially if they're fugly.

Where the hell is Idiana?

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