He stopped wearing his flag pin

Dear AL:
Since forever everyone where I work have been wearing flag pins, that's up until a few weeks ago. They stopped wearing it like it was out of style. Me and a friend of mine continued to wear it, but he stopped wearing his as of today. What the hell is this country coming too? A true patriot loves his country and the American flag! This is all Obama's fault! What can I do to make them see that by wearing it we would know where their hearts stands when it comes to our country?
-- Joan, New York

Dear Joan:
If you need to wear a flag pin to show your a true patriot, you're a freakin' idiot! Love for your country starts in the heart, not a flag pin, but if you need to be reminded when you look in the mirror, keep yours on. Not everyone is blessed with a functional brain to express their patriotism, so we'll understand.

I dont see us together in the long run

Dear AL:
Should I go out with someone I don't love? He is not a friend, so we only meet for dates. Indeed I enjoyed his company but I don't see us together in the long run. Whereas my family only wants me to consider potential husbands...
-- Yvonne, Sydney, Australia

Dear Yvonne:
Nothing wrong with having a fuck buddy, but don't put your eggs in one basket if you don't see a future with him. I'm not saying to hunt down potential husbands like a desperate old lady, or to stop seeing this guy, just spread the love around and have a good time. Make sure this guy knows right off the bat that you only enjoy his company and nothing more, because he might see a future with you, specially if his family is coaching him on to date potential wives. Don't lead this guy on if he wants more than a peace of ass, because the next thing you know he'll drop to his knees, and it's not to give you head!

Should I blank her with a blank

Dear AL:
I'm annoyed with this bitch who likes to steal the attention of my so-called best friend. Should I blank her with a blank or blank up her entire blank?
-- Allie

Dear Allie:
Sorry about the blanks. There are a lot of copycats out there, and the last thing I want is for them to blank up their life for blanking someone elses.

Look, why don't you stop being such a hater. Maybe that's why this girl is attracting your friends attention. Who wants to be around a miserable bitch who wants to blank? Not me!

I bet you want to blank me now, don't ya? ba-ha!

Would you leave someone who gave you herpes?

Dear AL:
Lets say your significant other gave you genital herpes, but said they didn't know they had it. Would you end your relationship with them?

I'm trying to get as much input as possible.
-- Upset in Seattle

Dear Upset:
Then you don't mind me posting this on Ask500People.
You did ask for extra input.

Look, you got the cootiesand there's nothing you can do about it. It's not going to magically disappear if you leave this person, so why break up? This STD is painful and NASTY, and by staying with this person you wont be passing it on to someone else. Do the right thing.

Sinead O'Connor's "Nothing Compares 2 U" Conspiracy

Dear AL:
Almost every copy of Sinead O'Connor's music video "Nothing Compares 2 U" on YouTube has no audio. Is there some kinda government conspiracy going on here, or is someone slipping me crazy pills?
-- Megan, Idaho

Dear Megan:
No, you're not crazy. They just don't like ya. Specially Shaggy here!
Like to see how they handle this song translated in Sign Language.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, several, 8

Hi AL:
I am a a thirty-fivish man who works in a small office. And even though I never went to college, I pride myself (non-annoyingly) on using words correctly. As I watch my culture crumble around me, I am particularly pained by the carelessness with which certain words are used. And this by so-called educated people. For example, people will say "I have a real dilemma here", but then they go on to describe a situation that does not have "two equally desirable options that are mutually exclusive". What they really find them selves in could be more properly described as a "pickle". But, as I say, I try not to be annoying about it. I just seethe silently, shaking my head at the general ignorance of people. I don't want to be going around wagging my finger at people like some kind of "word cop". I'm not perfect myself (as evidenced by the glaring grammatical errors in this very entry!) But today I find myself in a situation that (I feel) might call for some action. A superior of mine, today requested that I do something (it isn't important to describe what I do here) "several" times. Desiring more specificity (Hey, I'm not here for fun!) I requested that he tell me EXACTLY how many times he wanted me to do this thing. And he (with great frustration) replied "Why, SEVEN times!" I then realized that this man ( both my superior and a few years my elder ) has gotten to this stage in life thinking that "several" means "seven". I feel this is so egregious an error that he must be advised of it. I mean, this is a person on whom I am depending on for my bread and butter. What if he says this in front of a client? It's also undermining my respect for him, eating away at it like a cloud of termites. However, I feel that he will probably react with anger and shame if I bring it up. He's not the sort of person who takes criticism well. The whole thing will probably wind up biting me in the butt. In short, I find myself in a bit of a pickle. Should I say something? If so, how can I do it in a way that does not backfire?
-- blue lanugo, Pasadena CA

Yo Blue:
Personally, I would take this up with your boss before he makes a fool of himself, several times, but if he happens to also think "a few" means "three", kiss your job goodbye. Nobody critiques his vernacular!

When your boss states several to you in front of clients, you now know what he means, so don't worry about it. Take a deep breath, count to severalteen, and you'll be OK. Easy!

Excuse my gramma.