Boyfriend has male breasts... boobies!

Dear AL:
This is kind of awkward, but I have to vent. My boyfriend has boobies! Now I'm not talking sags of skin after losing weight. I'm talking jugs about the size of Pamela Andersons! We've been dating for months and I never noticed them before. Then last week I noticed his chest was buldging. He told me he just finished pumping iron at his gym, which made me so hot, I convinced him to come back to my place. I've been waiting for that special day forever. Little did I know how special he was. When he took off his shirt I couldn't believe my eyes! I was expecting buldging chest muscles. Instead I got boobies! They were larger than mine and I thought I was huge! He then said he has a confession to make. He didn't workout. I then told him that I never noticed them before. He then looked down and said he had them lifted. He lifted his man boobs! I almost threw-up when I ran to the bathroom, but after a few minutes I returned to the bedroom. I was hoping he would have his shirt on, but he was standing their with his arms crossed covering his breasts with his hands! I turned away. I then asked him if he was a transsexual, but he responded no, that they're not implants. I then asked him why he had them lifted instead of having them removed. He responded while looking down at his chest that he thought they would look better instead of sagging. I then got dressed... said sorry, and haven't seen him since.

We talked today, and he said he misses me, but I can't bring myself to see him even though I miss him to. I haven't told him how I feel. Al, I know I'll get sick to my stomach if I see them again. What would you do in my shoes?

-- Uri, Taiwan

Dear Uri:
Carry a pack of Alka-Seltzer.

Seriously, if you can't see yourself mashing your boobs against his (ew...), tell him about it. Let him know how you feel about him and maybe he'll surprise you by seeing a physician again. But if his condition is ireversible and he's comfortable about his boobies, maybe you can get use to them, but until then tell him to keep his shirt on and buy yourself some Dragon Skin body armor. You'll be alright.

2 comments:

Heather said...

why I never heard of this!!! I think that if you really truly cared his appearance wouldn't matter.

John said...

Heather is right. Yes you will be pretty shallow if you leave him. idk what you learned growing up but men and women have the same breasts it just takes a burst of hormones for them to grow.
at the same time your cosmetics, bc pills, plastics we are all exposed to and many other chemicals contain particles that the human body cant discern from estrogen.

btw the things you heard about how men "ARE" this way and women "ARE" that way behavior wise are mostly cultural creations and mass delusions. there are VARY SMALL hard wiring difference but between the religious Conservatives and feminists a lot of studies get sewed or reported as fact when the truth is the sample was only like 40 people (too few to be conclusive)

i hope you wake up and learn how to connect to people as people instead of staying in your shallow consumerist shell. it truly is the only way u will find lasting happiness as physical beauty will leave you much sooner than you expect.