She's friendless, gross and insulting. Wont leave me alone!

Dear AL:
There's a girl in my neighborhood who is a year older than me, and has very few friends. I am nice to her, and to her I am a close friend. The only problem is I find it hard to be around her very often. She is constantly talking about sad or gross things which I am not interested in, and constantly insulting people I really care about. I feel terrible that she doesn't have many friends, but when I am around her I feel like there is a vacuum sucking all of my energy and happiness away. She doesn't know this, because I think it would be really cruel to tell her, and she would probably dismiss it as a joke anyway. This is just really frustrating to me, because she knows when I am home, and calls me to make plans whenever I am home. I don't want to really upset her, but when I am hanging out with her she upsets me! To make matters worse, I have a chronic illness, which is greaty affected by stress, and hanging out with her literally causes me pain. I don't know what to do!!! Please help! Thanks in advance!!!
-- Going Crazy

Dear Crazy:
You must be really crazy if you're letting this miserable bitch waste your time. How can you state that you care for your friends and let this loser insult them? She's affecting your health. WTF is wrong with you?

This girl is a fruitcake (not the one in the pic), but the problem is you, not her, and the sooner you realize this the better off you'll be. These kind of people never change.

You can do this two ways... tell the bitch to leave you alone (recommended) or hear about the time she ate her first booger which wasn't hers... It's your choice.

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