tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-216452752012-01-06T03:59:18.418-05:00Providing common sense solutions for everyday problemsDear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.comBlogger2901100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-8776055862525241242011-11-24T16:12:00.005-05:002011-11-24T16:27:11.287-05:00

Hey AL:I prepared a perfectly roasted turkey. Seasoned it for 2 days. Have mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, yams and green bean casserole. Lots of stuffing, dressing and dinner rolls. Cran berry sauce up the ying yang and 4 punkin pies. All this is ready to eat, but no one is here. How do I invite guests at the last minute?-- Brandon, New YorkYo Brandon:Call and old folks home.Dude, invitations

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-12469921601223860222011-11-24T15:11:00.006-05:002011-11-24T15:32:12.203-05:00

Dear AL:My thanksgiving dinner is ruined! Right now everyone is sitting in the livingroom waiting on my turkey which tastes like the Dead Sea! My bird usually tastes great after brining it with salt and spices for a couple of days, but the turkey my husband brought home was KOSHER! It was already salted to death and I added on top of that! Al, I don't want to feed my guests only stuffing. What

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-49317735323766921472011-11-23T18:16:00.003-05:002011-11-23T18:20:30.121-05:00

Dear Al:The most wonderful man I ever had in my life left me. He left me because my feet stink! I haven't noticed it myself that night, but when he started becoming distant to the point that he kept getting up to use the toilet every ten minutes at our favorite restaurant, I knew something was wrong. At first I thought it was diarrhea when I asked him to which he responded "Don't you smell it?" I

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-5118555511219872412011-11-23T17:11:00.006-05:002011-11-23T17:43:31.535-05:00

Hey AL:I need your help!!! I don’t understand this man that I met and I need your advice!!!Long story short, I have known this man called “P” for about a year, P ‘s boss is my business client and that’s how I come to know him. We have known each other for about a year and during these period, we only communicating with each other once every two /three months (For biz purpose). Out of the blue, P

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-58689863267541748392010-09-15T20:48:00.003-04:002010-10-05T15:43:15.727-04:00

Dear AL:I have two children, an eight year old and a five year old and I'm constantly worried about liberal speeders who pass through my neighborhood. My 8 year old's friends live just across the street, and he knows the rules to look both way before he crosses, but I escort him across out of fear of those crazy liberal drivers. I also fear for my safety as well as my childs since they drive so

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-69556913931321937632010-07-23T18:59:00.003-04:002010-10-05T15:43:28.859-04:00

Dear AL:For as long as I can remember I have always loved fat bellies. I have always watched youtube videos of girls playing with their own. I became jealous. I want to know how I could get a bigger belly as soon as possible.--Savannah, FloridaDear Savannah:You're kidding, right?Darling, having a belly isn't what it's crack up to be. It might look great to you, but eventually it will droop

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-14032682593412702412010-06-08T16:52:00.001-04:002010-10-05T15:34:42.914-04:00

Hey AL:Thing is when we're frontin', we'll be talkin' smack and shit. But sometimes it bees like "Dawg, what you're talkin bout?" Then he'll be dissing, but not harsh and I'll be like "What the fuck?" then we're laffing like nothing happened. Another time ace bees like "Dawg, where's your game?" But I don't carry it around so I say "You dissing me?" and he smiles and then again we're laffing and

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-72433608106166530522010-06-06T17:46:00.002-04:002010-10-05T15:43:41.689-04:00

Dear AL:Every other week when I work the late shift with my coworker, he goes shopping with his friend for about an hour and a half. He's a German local national with restrictions on his installation pass which is only good for going to work and that's it, but he's telling me he's allowed to leave his place of duty to get something to eat. Only thing he's been going to the shopette which sells

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-49395663116713804642010-06-05T17:05:00.002-04:002010-10-05T15:43:52.735-04:00

Dear AL:What are "boyfriends" for? Should we date one we don't picture the long term with?-- Nice Girl, GermanyDear Nice:If you're clueless about boyfriends, like they're this foreign part of an automobile engine, don't take them for a spin!Now if you want to date someone, you better make sure he's not desperate for something permanent and you have plenty of condoms. Last thing you want is to

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-86776944938453762842010-06-04T17:06:00.002-04:002010-10-05T15:44:06.766-04:00

Dear AL:Almost every day my husband plays Donkey Kong since he brought this old arcade machine years ago. It keeps him out of trouble, but it's annoying that he spends more time with that game than me. He beats it every night, but keeps playing because he was told by some asshole about secret levels if he can time Mario's jump just right. I want him to time his jump with me, but he barely talks

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-14517237742660784212010-06-03T17:58:00.002-04:002010-10-05T15:44:19.012-04:00

Hey AL:My girlfriend is very upset with me. She found another girls phone number in my jeans back pocket. I tried to explain to her that my buddy planted it there as a joke while we was wrestling, but she's not buying it. How can I patch things up?-- Jeff, AustraliaYo Jeff:Start by telling her the truth. Your buddy reaching into your back pocket has to be the dumbest excuse I've ever heard, but

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-54982827596866331132010-06-01T19:58:00.000-04:002010-06-01T20:00:10.792-04:00

Dear AL:I moved in with my best friend because my husband admitted to an affair. Today my best friend admitted to having an affair with my husband! I can't believe it! She said she's sorry and what sucks is that I have no where to go. My parents live on the other side of the planet. She said I can stay with her but I want to scratch her eyes out! I lost all feeling for both of them, but I need a

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-34608809785235683092010-06-01T06:47:00.002-04:002010-06-01T18:25:40.443-04:00

Al:I work for an international oil corporation. If you were intrusted to come up with a strategy to convert over to clean energy with mininmun investment to do so, what would your strategy be? Incase you're wondering, I don't work for BP. Very unfortunate what's happening in the Gulf of Mexico. Hopefully they stop the oil leak soon.-- George the OilmanDear GusherAny real investment instead of

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-3518505301588637722010-05-29T20:29:00.000-04:002010-05-29T20:30:12.811-04:00

Dear AL:Some people fear flying, swimming, dogs. Since I saw the movie Armageddon when it first came out, I fear of getting hit by a meteor. Not world annihilation, just me. I'm always looking up in hope I see it coming so I can get out of the way. I scream when birds poop on me when I walk under trees! Any advice?-- Desperate in New YorkDear Desperate:Stay away from forrests.Seriously, play

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-69628949761287019902010-05-07T19:15:00.001-04:002010-05-07T19:36:42.408-04:00

Dear AL:WhenI decided to deactivate my Facebook account, this pathetic social network tried to make me feel bad stating on the deactivation page that my friends wont be able to keep intouch with me. They'll miss me. Like we all did away with our telephones and this is the only means of communication. After being hounded to join Mafia Wars for ages, the dumbass virtual pillow fight game, asked to

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-16414384811657362332010-05-05T18:17:00.001-04:002010-05-05T18:26:16.235-04:00

Dear AL:This is kind of awkward, but I have to vent. My boyfriend has boobies! Now I'm not talking sags of skin after losing weight. I'm talking jugs about the size of Pamela Andersons! We've been dating for months and I never noticed them before. Then last week I noticed his chest was buldging. He told me he just finished pumping iron at his gym, which made me so hot, I convinced him to come

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-66251811022671546552010-05-05T15:59:00.001-04:002010-05-05T17:51:47.364-04:00

Dear AL:There's a girl in my neighborhood who is a year older than me, and has very few friends. I am nice to her, and to her I am a close friend. The only problem is I find it hard to be around her very often. She is constantly talking about sad or gross things which I am not interested in, and constantly insulting people I really care about. I feel terrible that she doesn't have many friends,

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-16775429039989433412010-04-05T20:43:00.002-04:002010-04-05T21:01:25.532-04:00

Dear Al:I have been searching the internet for a place to express my discontent with a friendship and to find unbiased advice. I came across your blog and hopefully you have something enlightening to offer.The year 2009 was a major year in the development of my personal friendships. I chose to end harmful relationships with a few people I have known for over 15 years, more than half of my life.

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-11967637084259432312010-04-01T17:46:00.006-04:002010-06-01T18:22:54.804-04:00

For most browsers:Just drag and drop this link onto the Bookmarks or Favorites text or Home icon in your browser.That's it!

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-59696209490936144882010-03-16T17:52:00.009-04:002010-03-16T18:25:34.413-04:00

Name (real or fake):Location (optional):Message:(Write in Microsoft Word, then paste below)Powered by Response-o matic

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-43626789254734162712010-01-12T15:22:00.008-05:002010-04-05T19:37:09.637-04:00

Dear AL:I am a gusher. My new boyfriend is turned off by this but I don't know what to do. I mean, if I get off, I gush. Suggestions?-- Girda, Toronto, OntarioDear Girda:If you're not too emotionally attached when you're not having sex, I suggest you find a new boyfriend. To most men, a women gushing is conclusive proof we're great at sex. If your boyfriend doesn't appreciate this, dump him or

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-5989443408478083622010-01-04T17:51:00.000-05:002010-01-04T17:52:01.532-05:00

Hey AL:I applied for this government job on a post, and not online wasn't I picked I was banned access to this facility! They turn me away at the gate! I think it has something to do with my appearance. What are your thoughts on this?!Greg, Stuttgart, GermanyYo Greg:Sucks to be you.Seriously, if you think it's your looks, I don't think changing it now is going to make a difference. I'm sure it

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-39689046915825644322009-12-30T16:12:00.001-05:002009-12-30T16:14:36.794-05:00

Dear AL:I have a really close (or used to be) friend named jenn. She was one of my closest friends but slowly she started changing. She's always depressed, ignoring people who care, acting like the world is out to get her, lying, just being a bitch, cutting herself. Well first she put on fake scars to make all of her friends think shes cutting herself. Then when we found out it was fake she

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-76561269033811821722009-12-30T09:03:00.006-05:002009-12-30T12:09:55.197-05:00

First, I want to thank you all for stopping by and joining my blogs group. To the all my victims, friends, I will respond to your problems starting tonight.I'll try to be gentle.http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=249463825165

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-14382460121212903742009-12-26T17:20:00.002-05:002009-12-26T17:27:44.271-05:00

Hi Al:Ok, so it's 2 years into the relationship and I'm starting to get the distinct impression my boyfriend no longer respects me at all!Take today for example, hed put my front door key in his pocket by mistake! I was at my moms and he agreed to come round to mine with my key. I got to my house, phoned him, and he hadn't even left! I had to sit in my car for 45 minutes when there's snow on the

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-70285500918816469832009-12-18T17:13:00.000-05:002009-12-18T17:13:30.778-05:00

Hey AL:There's this hot girl I work with on my floor who's playing hard to get. My friends and hers tell me that she likes me. This hottie even tells me herself... wants to go out, but something always comes up at the last minute that she can't meet. I catch her looking at me throughout the day, but I'm not getting anywhere! How can I convince her to give me a chance? Why is she so hard to get?--

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-28087257166524632952009-12-08T17:32:00.002-05:002009-12-15T14:46:47.195-05:00

Dear AL:I have a few problems here, and I was hoping to get your advice.1) My mother has taken to contradicting me for the fun of it, and sometimes makes remarks in public that she knows will embarrass me. She's a middle-aged, professional woman, which only makes the situation more ridiculous. What do you think of this?2) I have few friends, and even fewer really close friends, whom I can get

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-54577772611872367322009-12-07T18:30:00.000-05:002009-12-07T18:31:05.961-05:00

Dear Al:I don’t know how to begin, thinking about all this had made me frustrated,enough to try every stupid thing I could, It’s a long story and I hope you’ll give me a solution that works with me.Ever since I was small I have this habit of keeping all my friends together (which doesn’t seem to happen).When I joined jr. high school(class 9) all my friend that I previously had were separated from

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-21959275847247862042009-11-24T21:07:00.003-05:002009-11-24T21:24:35.391-05:00

DearAL:About an hour ago I had an argument with my best friend of about a year and a half. We go to law school together and are usually inseparable despite all the people we hang out with on campus. She recently got out of a relationship that ended badly and has changed the way she deals with people because of it, she's taken a zero tolerance approach with people.I have now started seeing

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-5374138661427685432009-10-13T19:26:00.009-04:002009-10-14T18:45:10.407-04:00

Dear AL:I found out that my ex-bf has been two-timing me throughout the 3mths29days that we've been together. He has another long time gf of 17mths. This secret of his was exposed on the day when I happen to be in the same place as that couple. 3 of us quarrelled and he kept telling the girl he loves her and wants to be with her and he's very sorry. He totally ignored me and i was left to feel

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-81715777410414426502009-10-04T16:56:00.001-04:002010-03-16T18:20:37.083-04:00

Dear AL:I played a joke on a friend who made a sexual harrassment complaint against me. I hid under her desk, and when she came to work, I was going to surprise her by grabbing her legs, not knowing she was going to wear a dress that day. I decided not to touch her, but she saw me right away and nicked my head with a kick. I told her I was only wanted to play a joke and that I was sorry, but she

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-1677842888362889102009-10-01T17:11:00.021-04:002009-10-04T15:16:15.204-04:00

Dear AL:This is kinda gonna b a long stori..bt hope u help me out wid this..its killing me a bit dese days..obv if im not so desperate i wudnt be cuming to u..Ok..Btw..im a guy..not a joke..srs here..I have a best friend...lets keep his name as A..hope the letters dunt confuse u too much..then i have this other best friend and lets call her M...Ok..one of the problems is that im dam possessive of

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-55795655030633570012009-09-25T18:14:00.003-04:002009-12-15T14:40:47.772-05:00

Dear Al:Since my 7 year old daughter found out about the Swine Flu, and that it came from pigs, she doesn't want to play with her guinea pig anymore. I tried to explain to her that she doesn't have to worry about getting sick from Simon, her guinea pig, but she keeps telling me it's also a pig, and if I knew that he didn't come from Guinea? And you know what, I didn't. After I gave her a hug, she

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-6090010727260795222009-09-18T04:28:00.000-04:002009-09-18T04:31:20.071-04:00

Dear AL:This morning when I took my kids to school, I noticed those white planes spraying Chemtrails on the only patch of blue sky. Most of them parallel, with a few crossing them since that patch of blue sky was narrow. I also noticed before reaching the end of the only blue sky those planes turned off their trails, proving they were chemtrails. Germany has admitted to doing this. Anyway, it

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-36189289839185119912009-08-30T20:05:00.006-04:002009-08-31T05:03:06.464-04:00

DearAL:I have been with the same guy for a little over 4 years. We were having a great life together when he got arrested for some bad choices he made before I met him. I wasn't aware of any of this and now my trust in him is shaken. I've been really trying to stay strong and looking at my life. I've made many positive changes and am really taking care of myself. I'm not ready to call it

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-89671682543781971252009-08-16T17:47:00.015-04:002009-09-11T20:27:01.902-04:00

Dear ALi have a friends but when i know someone new and become friends they becomes closer 2 me than the other friends or her best friend and i feel so bad coz my friend looking 2 me and im thinking that she r annoyed so i decide not 2 know someone new if she or him have friends only if he havent friends then i can know him or her so i want soloution please-- Beyonce, Egypt Dear BeyonceWhat?Ok...

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-83318957139150278222009-08-14T19:31:00.001-04:002009-08-14T19:35:40.857-04:00

Dear AL:There's this guy I wish would leave me alone, but at the same time I have feelings for him. We met when he came back from Iraq for R&R, went out a little, and then he proposed to me before he left. He's been back from Iraq, and it's like he never proposed, and sees me when he wants to. I've told him to leave me alone, which wasn't easy, but he tells me that's not what I really want and

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-42933424607861021912009-07-31T19:01:00.010-04:002009-07-31T20:24:50.968-04:00

Hey AL:Ok... so let me try to make a long story short. Me and my girlfriend(not a fiancee OR wife) meet, have a serious relationship. Something like out of a romance novel in terms of the way we met and fell in love. I have a bad past of girlfriends cheating on me. But I tried my best to keep my paranoia in check. Her grandmother (aka her best friend) died when she was young. She doesn't know who

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-2837512500770848922009-07-13T20:42:00.009-04:002009-07-15T19:07:17.854-04:00

Dear AL:Due to the restrictions at my fraternity, our internet access is carefully filtered to block porn. Do you know of any place online where I can watch Paris Hilton's new sex tape? I'm a huge fan of hers! It can be partially censored. I'll just use my imagination to fill in the blanks. Thanks!-- Matt, amongst religious nutsYo Matt:You're in luck! I found Paris Hilton's sex tape on YouTube.

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-47908657934878911272009-07-07T17:37:00.008-04:002009-07-08T09:07:33.574-04:00

Dear AL:I have this employee (relative) that does nothing but complain. Since her fear of customers and boredom, she spreads lies about her coworkers, trying to prevent them from doing their jobs so they stay by her side. What can I tell her to straighten her out?-- Diana, TexasDear Diana:Tell her to STFU!From the sounds of it, she's probably older than dirt, and it's no ones fault she can't

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-9743261496285302662009-07-05T17:21:00.022-04:002009-08-03T19:11:30.043-04:00

Dear AL:I have recently (belatedly, unfortunately) heard that Archie of Archie Comics fame is marrying Veronica! I know that somehow, the story will progress in a manner that will return the characters to status quo but the suspense is driving me crazy. Help!(I know, you're probably thinking that I'm a loser.)-- Archie-Comics-CrazyDear Crazy:Nah... I'm not thinking that. Lots of kids read Archie.

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-76208343790379400132009-06-29T16:36:00.000-04:002009-10-01T17:21:06.282-04:00

Dear AL:So for the past month or so I've been "renting" a room with a friend. At first I was supposed to pay the rent for 2 weeks while she found a job or got family to pay... But now it has been 5 weeks and she has not paid! On Monday I told her to give me either her half of the rent by today (Thursday) or she would have to move out by this coming Monday. Her reply was "okay." since then she has

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-1944408197448074702009-06-22T18:08:00.002-04:002009-07-03T16:03:10.117-04:00

Dear AL:My boyfriend just hurt my feelings. For the past month I've noticed he was less interested in sex, so I confronted him about it today. He told me my vagina is too hairy, but no one ever complained about this before. He recommended that I shave, but I don't want to look like a little girl. I'm thinking about breaking up with him because he said it looks gross, but I don't want to play the

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-83086828942895877462009-06-06T19:08:00.004-04:002009-07-03T18:05:41.099-04:00

Dear AL:I'm so sick of my parents telling me what to do or complaining about what I do. Sit up straight... Don't wear that... You're on the internet too much... What's with you and your cell phone?... I can just scream!They're now complaining about my boyfriend because he dropped out of school and doesn't have a job. My parents seem to forget that Dad was like that from what they told me, and he

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-10280457100954216592009-06-04T18:38:00.007-04:002009-07-03T16:33:04.929-04:00

Dear AL:My mom is gay, has a girlfriend, but told me to divorce my gay partner I married in California before the Prop. 8 ban. She says it violates the sanctity of marriage between a man and woman for procreation. Wants me to marry a man. She's very religious, and keeps her homosexuality under wraps.Now I don't care how she runs her life. How can I get her to accept mines?-- Upset in

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-53001820228454500732009-05-07T15:18:00.011-04:002009-07-03T16:57:04.847-04:00

Dear AL:I am hung like a horse, but when the girls see it, they run away. What do I do?--Hung, FloridaYo Hung:Wait for Mrs. Right. A girl who believes you wont pound her to death like a dumbass, but take it slow with lots of foreplay, using tons of lubricant. If a woman can give birth to a baby, then your size shouldn't be a problem.Tell her you're in no rush... you're willing to wait until she's

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-88573997840616474292009-05-01T16:54:00.006-04:002009-12-15T14:42:04.590-05:00

Dear AL:For the last few days I've been protecting our pigs from my husband. He has obsessive–compulsive disorder, which I thought he had under control, that's until I caught him walking to our barn with a 5 gallon can of gas. When I asked him from the window what he's doing, he said coolly that he's going to kill our pigs. I then yelled stop, ran out to him while he was shouting back "Swine flu!

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-82945646112341968772009-04-13T16:42:00.004-04:002009-10-01T17:21:06.283-04:00

Dear AL: I recently turned 18 and after clubbing slept at a friends with her and two other guys. We all crashed on the double bed and I ended up making out with her uncle who is close to 30. My friend suspects that we hooked up, although we tried to hide it and I think she's upset about it. What should I do? Her uncle called me today and said to just say that we were flirting with one another and

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-2763248612125293082009-04-11T17:53:00.005-04:002009-12-30T18:51:21.350-05:00

Dear AL: Hav a nise girlfrend bupt dink she no lik me enymor. Lass time she com to mi haus she leeve soon bupt com bak bupt no tork an leeve aygen. Wat can I do so mi girlfrend lik me lik befor?-- Marat, ҚазақстанDear Marat: Take showers or she will never lick ya again.Seriously, give her breathing room. Now I'm not saying that you stink, just give her space to think. Before doing so, call her up

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-59767997162915297412009-04-10T18:15:00.010-04:002009-07-03T16:18:17.078-04:00

Dear AL: My husband had an affair with my best friend. He says he didn't sleep with her, but he wont stop communicating with her. We have 2 children! HELP!-- Cassie --Dear Cassie: I don't know of an affair where sex wasn't involved, that's unless numbnuts really has numb nuts, then he might be telling the truth. If you just want to save your marriage because of your two children, then it sounds

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-19290852528521206262009-04-08T18:58:00.008-04:002009-04-09T04:45:14.835-04:00

Dear AL:So I have been chatting to this guy online for months. He lives in another country and he is moving to the same city as me. I'm extremely nervous because he obviously wants to meet me. I am not the most attractive person, and I just don't want to get rejected. Should I pass on the date, take someone with me to take off the pressure, or go and take my chances? -- JDear J:I hate to be the

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-52471337336583794222009-04-03T17:51:00.008-04:002009-04-11T16:15:45.292-04:00

Dear ALThere are these people that keep harassing me every week at my job. When they order food at the drive threw they always ask for whoppers knowing full well they're at McDonalds! What can I tell these people to leave me alone?-- Upset in Seattle WashingtonDear Upset:Tell them no pork at all.Um.. upset... you work at a fast food place. Maybe it's the same jokers harassing you every week, but

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-76328583874098538702009-04-03T14:37:00.012-04:002009-07-03T16:18:17.079-04:00

Dear AL:My Christmas present for 2008 was learning of an affair my husband was having with a girl at the gym. He continued the affair by purchasing "pay as you go" phones to eliminate any phone records - I found his phone. He says he has discontinued the affair but continues to go to the same gym, at the same time she goes, and refuses to change. There are other alternatives and times for him

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-92181703914402408812009-03-11T18:08:00.005-04:002009-07-03T18:59:27.800-04:00

Dear Al:For the past years I have been lying. Lying so much that all of those revolves me believe every single word that I have said. I want to quit lying, but it's hard. It has turn into a habit. Can you tell me what to do to stopped this lies.-- Liar, SingaporeDear Liar:Shut the fuck up!I hope this helped.

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-40831025129542549282009-03-03T17:29:00.003-05:002009-07-03T19:18:17.006-04:00

Hey AL:Tonight I discovered my wife is a freakin' liberal on her Facebook profile. So the love she says she has for me, our relationship, was all a lie! She knows I'm a Republican, so what else could it be. She was desperate! When I talked to her about it, and that I want a divorce, her tearful response would have been genuine if she was a Republican, but we know Democrats are frauds.Al, I feel

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-75942073222029373442009-03-02T05:33:00.005-05:002009-07-03T14:51:25.774-04:00

Dear AL:About a month ago I made a mistake of seeing a certain Army recruiter. After deciding not to join the Army after taking the ASVAB test which I passed with flying colors, this recruiter wont except no for an answer. He's upset for driving me to take this test, but it wasn't like he wasted gas, there were two other potential recruits who came along for the same reason. What made me change

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-37214380326459682962009-02-26T10:30:00.015-05:002009-07-03T16:18:17.081-04:00

Dear AL:This is not easy, but i can't keep this bottled in. Last night i found out that my husband has been having an affair with my best friend's husband. MY BEST FRIEND'S HUSBAND! I discovered this when i returned home early last Friday from a girl's night out. When i saw my husband wasn't in the living room, i heard the shower going, so i went to see him. When i pulled the curtain open, i saw

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-39662180967824783822009-02-16T20:55:00.007-05:002009-07-03T19:06:57.858-04:00

Dear AL:My 2 year old daughter told me today that she doesn't like me. At breakfast, right after I spilled a little milk on her while pouring it into her cereal she said "Mommy, mommy, I don't like you." You wont believe how shock I was to hear this coming from her mouth. When I started to dry her she said with a smile "mommy, I'm K," followed with a frown "I don't like you." I then ran to the

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-28055148254258239402009-02-01T17:31:00.008-05:002009-10-01T17:21:06.284-04:00

Dear Al:I have two friends whom I am very close to. Well, closer to one than the other, but that's beside the point. So late last year, the one whom I'm closer to, whom we shall call A, has had a friend. This friend seems to have no one but A, so clings on to A like A was a lifebuoy in the dead sea.I wouldn't bother about it, since the fact that A enjoys being a lifebuoy has nothing to do with me

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-779860313967996712008-12-10T18:15:00.011-05:002009-07-03T16:18:17.082-04:00

Dear AL:My husband and I got married in January after ten years together and two kids. We were part of a group of friends and he got close to a female in the group which I didn't like. He told me I was being silly. End of August I proved he had been texting and calling her for months - over 3000 text sent - 45 a day average. I threw him out. Was pregnant with number three. She swans around like

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-4782658471902478812008-12-03T17:48:00.010-05:002009-10-01T17:21:06.286-04:00

Dear AL:Its me again. Come with another problem bout my friends. I have two friends, they both girl. They had same problem, when they got emotionally stress , they blank themselves with blank, n felt relieved when they see blank blank blank.The first one getting her stress from fight with her step-mother, and the second one usually stress coz of fight with his boyfriend. His?Um, the first one

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-3702005241074234812008-11-21T20:40:00.007-05:002009-10-01T17:21:06.287-04:00

Dear AL:My best friend is a wolf. He made a couple breakup (that couple is our juniors). Now the boy make revenge by wrote a sarcasm poetry (titled “Looser” – good – sound like Ace Ventura) and posted it on our school’s bulletin board, make him embarrassed. When we read it (and laughed at it too), my best friend asked me to re-write that poetry (it’s written by hand before), and I made a nice,

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-54339155545552766452008-11-21T20:05:00.009-05:002009-10-01T17:21:06.288-04:00

Dear AL:HELP! Our friend says she is engaged to be married at 17 and she has a HUGGGEEE “real” ring to prove it. She won’t listen to her best friends when we tell her that this is the biggest mistake of her life. The reason we say this is because her boyfriend is a screw up big time. They have made a whole “plan” to get pregnant just so that they can live together. They have been having sex

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-29678748540961738202008-09-03T05:22:00.005-04:002009-10-01T17:21:06.289-04:00

Dear AL:Last week my best friend told me that she's been having an affair with my husband for over 3 months. I've asked her why she did this, and she said she was stupid, but wished it never happened because my husband wont leave her alone. Not because she betrayed our friendship, felt bad, or was afraid she would get caught. Asshole wouldn't leave this bitch alone, so she called it quits. She

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-64942336715592562222008-09-02T16:30:00.008-04:002008-09-02T21:11:59.602-04:00

Dear AL:If you been keeping track of the news, CERN's provided a safety report of the Large Hadron Collider particle accelerator, but doom-sayers continue to state it will destroy the world. It's all crazy talk! From micro black holes imploding Earth, to hypothetical Strangelets converting all matter to strange matter in a runaway fusion process.First off, if the LHC does create micro black holes

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-66635701359098829332008-08-29T05:19:00.005-04:002009-07-03T17:28:42.452-04:00

Dear AL:Since forever everyone where I work have been wearing flag pins, that's up until a few weeks ago. They stopped wearing it like it was out of style. Me and a friend of mine continued to wear it, but he stopped wearing his as of today. What the hell is this country coming too? A true patriot loves his country and the American flag! This is all Obama's fault! What can I do to make them see

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-36299333007115108732008-08-28T17:27:00.004-04:002009-10-01T17:21:06.290-04:00

Dear AL:Should I go out with someone I don't love? He is not a friend, so we only meet for dates. Indeed I enjoyed his company but I don't see us together in the long run. Whereas my family only wants me to consider potential husbands...-- Yvonne, Sydney, AustraliaDear Yvonne:Nothing wrong with having a fuck buddy, but don't put your eggs in one basket if you don't see a future with him. I'm not

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-33319298705539467002008-08-26T19:13:00.012-04:002009-10-01T17:21:06.291-04:00

Dear AL:I'm annoyed with this bitch who likes to steal the attention of my so-called best friend. Should I blank her with a blank or blank up her entire blank?-- AllieDear Allie:Sorry about the blanks. There are a lot of copycats out there, and the last thing I want is for them to blank up their life for blanking someone elses.Look, why don't you stop being such a hater. Maybe that's why this

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-36724247285680699102008-08-11T04:19:00.013-04:002009-12-15T14:43:42.941-05:00

Dear AL:Lets say your significant other gave you genital herpes, but said they didn't know they had it. Would you end your relationship with them?I'm trying to get as much input as possible.-- Upset in SeattleDear Upset:Then you don't mind me posting this on Ask500People. You did ask for extra input.Look, you got the cootiesand there's nothing you can do about it. It's not going to magically

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-18242943132496010752008-08-10T15:53:00.008-04:002009-07-03T14:40:35.772-04:00

Dear AL:Almost every copy of Sinead O'Connor's music video "Nothing Compares 2 U" on YouTube has no audio. Is there some kinda government conspiracy going on here, or is someone slipping me crazy pills?-- Megan, IdahoDear Megan:No, you're not crazy. They just don't like ya. Specially Shaggy here!Like to see how they handle this song translated in Sign Language.

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-89457197705394537302008-08-08T16:39:00.010-04:002009-07-03T17:34:00.455-04:00

Hi AL:I am a a thirty-fivish man who works in a small office. And even though I never went to college, I pride myself (non-annoyingly) on using words correctly. As I watch my culture crumble around me, I am particularly pained by the carelessness with which certain words are used. And this by so-called educated people. For example, people will say "I have a real dilemma here", but then they

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-10412710566412068002008-05-24T20:45:00.003-04:002009-07-03T16:18:17.085-04:00

Dear AL:So I found out my wife was having an affair a couple of months ago and I really do not think she understands the impact this has had on me. She says she is sorry and she says she understands but here is a perfect example of why I don't feel she does. I have tried to explain to her how I feel but she says I am being unreasonable. One of us seems to be suffering from a little bit of

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-27682380517621196522008-05-18T17:13:00.006-04:002009-07-03T19:07:43.847-04:00

Dear AL:mei dortta wuans becom singa. sow I helf wef her englisch ba shesh nart shor redy sing shwo ordishon. shesh sagen shesh dars nart no goot song oder shesh goot. shesh ist goot, nart Scheiße für TV. Plies helf.-- Olga, GermanyDear Olga:If your daughter's English is as good as yours, tell her to sing "Ken Lee".I hope this helped!

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-38436502378559606292008-04-05T13:11:00.009-04:002009-07-03T19:04:57.029-04:00

Dear AL:Since I answered a company questionnaire about the everyday problems of working parents, higher up has been giving me the cold shoulder. Everyday the workload has been getting less and less to the point I have to look for it. My supervisor told me I'm slacking yesterday, the very same man who's been holding work from me the last two weeks stating he's trying to help. And today I found out

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-40792717244763226042008-04-03T16:34:00.012-04:002009-02-26T15:55:56.329-05:00

Dear Al,I have a problem that's driving me crazy. Blogs! I'm working on so many blogs you wouldn't believe, and I keep coming up with new ones. I have 8 now. This juggling act of trying to maintain all my blogs is keeping me up nights, and it's effecting my family, day job, and my weight, but I can't stop. Slow me down!-- Jennifer, AustraliaDear Jennifer,Slow yourself down! Sheesh!Are all these

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-45012128879834593472008-04-02T17:06:00.008-04:002009-07-03T19:09:42.463-04:00

Dear AL:I've been playing golf all my life, and competed against Natalie Gulbis a few times, and wooped her ass. But it's like it never happened! They pat me on the back, and then fall over themselves to congratulate her for participating.Today it's like I don't exist, even though I'm better at the game. I'm in the shadow of Natalie Gulbis. No one sees me! AL, WTF do I have to do to make them

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-55236504777301994722008-04-01T14:05:00.006-04:002009-07-03T17:34:13.310-04:00

Dear AL:Today I lost my job after pulling an April fools' prank on my boss that was a little over the top. I dropped him an email using an anonymous form online, pretending to be his girlfriend who works here, stating she's breaking up with him, and for him to leave her alone. After reading this email, he charged out of the office, and crashed into a coworker, spilling hot coffee on both of them.

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-20447620933628133272008-04-01T05:35:00.007-04:002009-07-03T19:12:14.363-04:00

Dear AL:I had it at my job. I've been working for a paper forever, 5 years to be exact, and every time when I think I can move up, they bring someone new from the outside. The last guy didn't even had the experience, and I had to train him! Train him how to be a managing editor!AL, I'm quiting as of today and starting an advice column like yours. Can I copy your blogs template?April fool's! About

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-48313492895215409632008-03-31T17:48:00.010-04:002009-07-03T16:18:17.086-04:00

Dear AL:I had an affair with my best friend's husband two weeks ago, which I'm very sorry about. The way it happened, my best friend Dawn gave me a call and told me she was sick, and asked if I could go to her husbands hangout to keep an eye on him. I did her this favor, and found him playing pool with his friends at this place. He wasn't doing anything wrong when I found him, but since I drank

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-66035904217303840862008-03-31T06:07:00.008-04:002009-07-03T19:02:07.162-04:00

Hey AL:I want to pull an April Fool's Day joke tomorrow on a coworker friend of mine who reads you blog, maybe with your help. Here's a few details about him: He loves football, can't stop talking about his hobby, he's one of our best brokers, and he drives an old Regal. Have any ideas?-- Anthony, New York CityYo Anthony:You just described him, and you still expect to fool him?***Smack*** Get off

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-1170827140519777942008-03-30T04:16:00.010-04:002009-07-03T18:47:12.358-04:00

Dear AL:I have to get this off my chest. I've been using Microsoft Visual Basic for years, but no more! Their latest version, Visual Basic 6 .NET produces slow applications, wont upgrade programs written in previous versions, and software written with it becomes inoperable when you update to the latest Windows version, or the latest Internet Explorer.The reason being why Visual Basic wont ever

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-26960726740592216362008-03-29T18:01:00.002-04:002009-07-03T19:04:02.261-04:00

Dear AL:Over the course of 3 years I watched my toenails go from transparent to a brittle yellow crust. Only 2 of my toenails look normal now. I planned to take care of this problem, but with my work schedule and family life, I've put it off, but I just can't stand looking at them anymore! Do you know of a cure for toenail fungus, or is this something I have to live with? -- Dave, IrelandYo Dave:

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-6569946220785609902008-03-28T11:41:00.011-04:002009-07-03T14:51:25.776-04:00

Dear AL:Since my male coworkers found out my plans to have my breasts reduced from my loud mouth girlfriend, they keep bringing it up. Stating all I need is a lift. They're also using this as an excuse to stare at my boobs while they talk to me!Al, this is making me uncomfortable. What can I do to make them stop?-- Trish, UKDear Trish:Reduce your breasts to nothing. Works every time!Seriously,

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-42253687459064055322008-03-28T04:56:00.004-04:002009-12-28T18:23:20.972-05:00

Dear AL:My girlfriend just has a record of leaving all her ex-boyfriends hanging, not actually breaking up with them. I want to be the first because I know she isn't in to me any more and I know that breaking up would just kill her. I really don't want that. HELP!!!-- dyvius, ColoradoYo Dyvius:You want to be the first what? Lay?How can you be the first of anything if she's not into you? Move on

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-53762406695374524362008-03-28T02:33:00.000-04:002009-07-03T16:33:54.563-04:00

Dear AL:Way back when I was a child I loved my birth name, Pony, that's until someone pulled my ponytail in first grade, and all the nicknames that followed. Today at 20 I'm finally gona change it, just drives me crazy that my mom wont tell me why she named me this. Have any indeas?-- Samantha (soon to be name), OklahomaDear Sam:You don't want to know.

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-16142176911744817702008-03-28T01:24:00.000-04:002009-07-03T19:25:50.505-04:00

Hey AL:Last week I got suspended because of my pants. I'm one of the smartest kids in class, but these fools attacked me anyway with this sagging pants law, and it hasn't even been approved by the House of Representatives. I wear long shirts, so no one sees my underwear, plus my style saves time when I go to the toilet. :)Al, I'm not a trouble maker. I just want to go to school without worrying

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-24434654724571884832008-03-26T13:55:00.005-04:002009-07-03T14:40:17.389-04:00

Dear AL:Last year you gave me advice about a girl I was interested in, but like my friends said, and you, she was a dude. There's this other girl that works at this club that seems to like me. Now she's not performing on stage, so she has to be female. Everytime I come through the door, she always smiles and says hi before taking me to my table. My friends are not 100% sure this time if she's a

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-34078178771558269452008-03-26T09:57:00.010-04:002009-07-03T16:16:03.521-04:00

Dear AL:Sorry, but what is mariburjeka?-- Jane, Korea, Republic ofDear Janebot:You mean you don't know? Sad.Figure you know by now since you've been asking this spam question all over the internet:Google - "Sorry, but what is mariburjeka?"To the Janebot programer who unleashed this spambot crawler, you forgot to add a link, moron!

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-30744060316524904962008-03-17T11:20:00.008-04:002009-07-03T19:34:43.356-04:00

Dear AL:I have never blogged before, but find myself in a hurtful situation. I'm hoping you can give me some advice.-- B3Dear B3:Kinda hard to give advice if I don't know what the problem is, but blogging about it if you have no one to talk to is a great way to get it off your chest. Readers don't have to know who you are and where you're from, just the fact you're venting, looking for support.

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-34027057900902440212008-03-13T04:43:00.007-04:002009-10-01T17:21:06.293-04:00

Hey Al:I hate the girl who hangs out with me and my best friend. Well, not exactly; I hate that my best friend always puts her before me. She knows I fucking hate waiting for ANYONE and she still insist on making me do so because she wants to be with the stupid bitch.Do I dump her, which isn't a choice, because I'm a social pariah whom everyone hates, or do I kill the bitch and hope my best

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-61406679768613128912008-01-25T15:34:00.000-05:002009-07-03T19:09:18.830-04:00

Dear AL:My girlfriend just inherited her dads house, but her sister who doesn't live there wants us to pay her rent, and she agreed to it. Now I don't have a problem with that, just the fact that when we move in we're taking care of her mother who has a problem with my breath, but my girlfriend thinks if I get hair implants it might help. What do you think?-- Ray, GeorgiaYo Ray:I think you should

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-47192330094742035292008-01-10T16:52:00.000-05:002009-07-03T19:13:56.144-04:00

Dear AL:My husband is a good man, but he doesn't have any sentimental values. He's thrown out stuff he's had as a kid, like an easel his grandmother gave him when he was a teenager 30 years ago. His easel broke, so instead of fixing it since it was fixable, he threw it out and brought a new one. You know how I feel about his lack of emotional associations that most people have about things? I'm

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-13195705570189672962008-01-09T14:49:00.001-05:002009-02-26T16:02:50.143-05:00

Dear AL:Last Friday I discovered that my doctor gave me a placebo, stating it was something else for my condition. I overheard him tell his nurse this since he has a hearing problem and doesn't realize he's loud. I didn't say anything to him back then, but since it troubled me over the weekend, I told him I knew this past Monday. He apologized, stating that sometimes power of suggestion, the

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-6031097323389937172008-01-04T16:04:00.000-05:002009-07-03T19:16:30.565-04:00

Dear AL:I'm living in hell. My girl broke up with me. We've been dating 4 months, but when I discovered her prosthetic toe when I jumped into the shower with her, she called it quits after smacking me a few times. She's the most sweetest person in the world, but reacted like that because how I reacted when I saw her toe on the soap dish. Just wish she told me.We haven't been together long, but I

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-77771086084987646762008-01-04T05:31:00.000-05:002009-07-03T19:21:06.601-04:00

Dear AL:I don't know how I made it this past Christmas and New Years without the love of my life. She died of breast cancer two years ago. Your blog has always made me laugh, I just hope you don't mind posting this short message for her.Melissa, I love you. You will always be in my heart. Can't wait for the day we're together again!Love,Mike - Oklahoma

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-63502321902803946872008-01-02T18:42:00.000-05:002009-02-26T15:54:37.367-05:00

Dear AL:I just came down with herpes on my lip. At first I thought I caught it from my newly wife, but she told me that the big bump on her lip is just a pimple. It took me a while to believe, but now I'm convinced she's telling the truth.It hurts like a bitch! How long will I have this?-- Josh, IowaYo Josh:Until death do you part!I hope this helped!

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-79495238860101238012008-01-01T20:50:00.002-05:002009-12-28T18:18:56.373-05:00

Dear AL:Tonight me and Jewel, my pet ferret, were invited on a talk show to show off his tricks, but he wouldn't come out of his carrier. When I tried to take him out, he bit me right on stage. I think he was scared of the crowd, but tomorrow night he's gona perform if he likes it or not. Any ideas how to calm his nerves? -- Petra, GermanyDear Petra:Imitate him.Good luck!

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-78419357874402876732007-12-30T07:08:00.001-05:002007-12-30T07:12:57.985-05:00

Hey Al,looks like you've gotten a hell lotta nicer to people who're writing in! Come now, spill, who's the pretty gal who's gotten you all soft and sweet? -- LizaHey Liza,My couch.Just kidding! Serious!Don't make me go all out AL on ya!Incase you're wondering, that's not me above, but a photo submitted by Ginther to a flickr competition. Vote for him or may your next new year be like your last!

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-68850577220846537182007-12-29T04:34:00.000-05:002009-07-03T19:14:44.941-04:00

Dear AL:I was sitting on a seat, without knowing that it was a bitchy girl's seat. Well, as the story would go, the bitchy girl came up to me, and growled, "Do you mind?" making a suggestion that it was her seat. I wasn't quite sure whether to say "yes" or "no" because of course I didn't want to give her the seat, seeing as there was no sign that it was hers, yet she was kind of intimidating.

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21645275.post-32795317564191311052007-12-23T17:06:00.000-05:002009-02-26T16:02:50.145-05:00

Dear Al:Thanks for your reply! Ok, during the 1st lunch, he did asked me some questions that is related to his report! (but I didn't tell him that much since I used to work in the same news agent as well, so I know the rules)!!! But during 2nd time, he didn't ask me anything about the company or industry that I am currently working in, instead, we talk about loads of common interests and we did

Dear ALhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14467936020558563408noreply@blogger.com3