My wife is a HO! Every weekend she goes out clubbing with her girlfriends, but I know she's window shopping! Last week I found a phone number on the floor by our jackets! Al, how can I get her to stay home with me, watch a movie, and cuddle? I have a small penis, but that can't be the problem, because I know how to use it!
-- Josh, North Carolina
Happy to hear that you're proficient with your pecker, but why do you want the world to know? Hoping your wife reads your message to remind her how good she has it at home? I'm not Dr. Ruth!
First you have to stop calling your wife a ho, even if she is. Then you need to get out, take your wife to dinner, dancing, drinking, do something crazy, but still let her hang out with her friends. You'll have plenty of time to cuddle when you come home wasted, plus your tiny penis might get some play! I hope this helped!