He Accused Me Of Leading Him On

Dear AL:
Right, in a nutshell: Why do I only attract either weirdos or chauvanistic arseholes when I'm out fer a drink, minding me own business? After an hour of singing along to the live band in the bar, me and me mate were getting ready to leave. This blokey next to us keeps blagging the lighter fer his fags. I tell him just to buy one when he gets his fags ~ and then realise he's cadgin fags of everyone else anyway, so he probably never buys his own. Anyway, he ends up chatting to me and we end up dancing and shouting along to the music, like. Oasis, as I remember. First base reached and sorted, he then says a variation on the "get yer coat, love, you've pulled" theme. I'm incensed. I ask him why a 10 min tonsil hockey match, no drinks and him blagging all me fags means I'll automatically go home wi him and sleep wi him? Excuse me, I do have standards. He accuses me of leading him on. I accuse him of being a smarmy, possible serial-killer typical pissed ex-pat businessman C-word, and tell he has a lot to learn about modern girls. I leave wi me mate, and we catch the bust back to me flat, where I steam about his arrogant assumptions fer about three days. I'm better now. But I must have 'arrogant twats try me' written on me forehead. That and 'nuts welcomed', and not in the Biblical sense, neither.

Can you tell me where I'm going wrong? Tell me it's not me, it's him. Please.
Peach and lube,
-- Soupdragon, Hong Kong, http://soup-dragon.blogspot.com

Dear Soup:
Maybe he liked the way you called his and your friends fags, so he knew you had to be straight.

Most guys will get the wrong impression if you start talking to them first, followed by dancing, and meeting your friends... I mean fags. It's not your fault, just watch a person next time to make sure he's not an asshole before you start a conversation.

Oh yeah... On our side of the planet we don't call our friends fags, specially if they're gay. Hope this helped!

8 comments:

franca said...

Hey Al.

Love your blog. I had a hard time following Soup's story, but I eventually got the point. But, um, aren't cigarettes what the Brits refer to as "fags"?? I could be totally wrong...

ramblings said...

As of now, I got the jist, but damn, somebody needs to teach this person how we (on our side of the planet) talk.

lastlifeinmyuniverse said...

i dont think they call it bust on their side of the planet either.

my advice: think of it as sifting thru the rotten ones for the good ones.

Dear AL said...

Thanks, Franca! Welcome aboard!

Ramblings, you should've seen me way back in high school. I sucked at English! I grew up dirt poor, so the only thing I had on my mind was food!

Last, you're so right. We do this everytime we go shopping, digging through the fruit and vegetables to get to the fresh ones below.

Soupdragon is a friend of mine like you all are, so please be nice!

Webmiztris said...

i smoke fags every day. does that mean I'm gay, al? ;)

Rose said...

WebMiz no it means that you shoot gay men every day. LOL

Rose said...

WebMiz no it means that you shoot gay men every day. LOL

Soupdragon said...

Sorry ~ "fags" is slang for cigarettes, and yes, I do talk like that. Just not when I'm teaching. I believe it's called 'accent' and 'dialect'.

:)

Ta fer all the advice, might just stay in next time, LOL
Although I also like the advice to sift through em all till you find a nice one. Kinda like apples at the supermarket, praps.


SD