Any ideas to improve our presentations?

Dear AL:
I'm a Jehovah Witness. For years I've been trying to help people by showing them the way to true salvation with the help of the Watchtower, but it hasn't been easy. I've met hundreds of people of various religions, non religious types who believe in God, alot of atheists, and about all have turned me away in under a minute. I'm sure a follower visited you, so you must know our beliefs. Do you have any ideas to improve our presentations minus the insults?
-- George, Ireland

Yo George:
Nope!

Think I want your people knocking on my door again? Well think again, buddy! Last thing I need is to be interrupted while I'm doing nothing. Why can't your people build churches like everybody else?

If you have to go door to door, why don't you guys keep record of the places that turned you away? Think I'm gona change my mind when your buddies come over the following week? Hell no! This is what's giving you guys a bad name, GEORGE!

I know some nice Jehovah Witnesses who keep to themselves, and only express their beliefs when the topic of religion is brought up. They'll talk your ear off, but at least they don't continue the conversation at my front door!

The salesman's approach is old, Beaves. Time you guys got with the times!

7 comments:

Susan Helene Gottfried said...

Michele sent me, Al. I'm going to have to look around a bit since I've never been here before. While I'd rather not have people ring my doorbell, either, unless they want to play with my kids or give me a million dollars, you've got to respect these people for having the guts to get out there, knowing the door will be slammed in their faces a million times.

I'm a gutsy person, but I think that having to go door-to-door like that would make me suicidal.

Yaeli said...

Michele sent me. That's very good advice Al. I can't believe that any god really wants people selling "him / her" as a product.
I'll make sure to stop by again for some more common sense advice.

wordnerd said...

Hey! First time here, via Michele. Wow -- your advice column is pretty unique! Great site! One day I'm going to tell the story of how my mom chased a couple of Jehovah's Witnesses down the street with a broom...

Rose said...

Leave it to Al to tell it like it is. I did not realize you were back blogging?

Webmiztris said...

because of Jehovah's Witnesses, I don't even answer the door unless I'm expecting company! I hate being bothered with that shit!

Amber said...

Hee! Absolutely hilarious! Off for a good look at the rest of your advice now :)

Heather said...

Good morning Al! Michele sent me. This seems like a really interesting advise column. I'm off to look it over more and will be back again!