Best friend made a couple breakup

Dear AL:
My best friend is a wolf. He made a couple breakup (that couple is our juniors). Now the boy make revenge by wrote a sarcasm poetry (titled “Looser” – good – sound like Ace Ventura) and posted it on our school’s bulletin board, make him embarrassed. When we read it (and laughed at it too), my best friend asked me to re-write that poetry (it’s written by hand before), and I made a nice, bling-bling, full of heart and flower, with Kahlil Gibran’ word inside, printout version of that poetry, and I posted it at bulletin board too. But next day when we saw that printout version, he asked my opinion about this problem, and I said “Honestly, you deserve this. You’re really a bastard wolf.” Then he said “You don’t understand me.” And he got angry. Well, that breakup couple is also friends of mine too. Nah, how can I make this situation better or even worse? I’d like to hear your opinion too.

Thanks, AL..

PS: Sorry if my English is bad... I’m Indonesian. hahaha
-- Monika, Indonesia

Dear Monika:
Don't worry about your English, I understood everything. So your best friend is mad at you because of your opinion of what he did to your other friends. Does Bastard Wolf mean asshole?

The best thing you could do right now is to stop calling him bastard wolf, and don't even think about stupid chimp. Drop what he did to your other friends, that's unless he's an evil leopard, then I suggest you get away from him before he morphs into a fathead rhinoceros. I'm just saying.

Our friend is engaged to be married at 17

Dear AL:
HELP! Our friend says she is engaged to be married at 17 and she has a HUGGGEEE “real” ring to prove it. She won’t listen to her best friends when we tell her that this is the biggest mistake of her life. The reason we say this is because her boyfriend is a screw up big time. They have made a whole “plan” to get pregnant just so that they can live together. They have been having sex without a condom for over a month now. And the worst thing is her parents either don’t care, or don’t know. We’ve tried to talk some sense into her but she won’t even reconsider her decision. She says it’s what they want. Is it wrong to not support her? We don’t know what to do. The situation has gotten way out of hand.
-- Lauren, US

Dear Lauren:
I knew a moron like that, and now she's a single parent, while her ex is having sex without a condom in prison for way over a month now. Years!

Anyway, since she wont listen, you can either anonymously tell her parents, or let her learn the hard way, but keep your distance to avoid the drama. Believe me, when she sees how stupid their decision was after the fact, she will drive you nuts complaining and asking for help to change poopy diapers. Don't put up with that shit!

Let her know from the get-go that you don't want to hear any complaints when the going gets rough, and it will. Not only is she giving up the remainder of her teen years to bare a kid for this screw-up, they will both lose their chance to go to college. Her fiancee will have to find work to support them, and with his lack of qualifications due to his age, he'll be flipping burgers at McDonald's, making minimum wage, which might not be enough to pay rent to his parents.

Lauren, go on with your life. If she wants to push a stroller, it's not your problem.