Your eyes are not deceiving you, it's a Meme!

I know... I know... I said I would never do a Meme, and I wasn't tagged, but I had to do this one! I got this from Sandi, who got it from Chelle, which Ramblings is also doing, who got it from Jenny, who got it from God knows who! Hopefully not Bush!

Since this Meme is missing a name, lets call it "The Ultimate Rant"


I AM: all knowing, just have bad grammar, but at least I can spell nuclear.

I SAID: to myself "Who's that freaky looking creature before me?", before I turned away from the mirror.

I WANT: a billion dollars!

I WISH: someone would give it to me.

I HATE: it when they don't!

I MISS: my Wooby!

I FEAR: someone might take the sentence before this one serious! I was just kidding people!

I HEAR: someone walking by breathing hard

I WONDER: who was walking by breathing hard

I REGRET: not looking to see who was walking by breathing hard

I AM NOT: gona find out, it could've been my wife looking to kick my ass!

I DANCE: with my kids sometimes

I SING: alone in my car, but not when I stop at a green light

I AM NOT ALWAYS: an asshole. Really!

I MADE: a beaver face because my wife farted!

I WRITE: whatever comes to mind sometimes , like "put a diaper on your head, and if you can't think, it's too tight!"

I CONFUSE: my wife sometimes, just hope she doesn't commit me!

I NEED: my own business, like making underwear protectors agains't streaks. Don't look at me, I know how to wipe my ass!

I SHOULD: get off my ass before I grow roots to my chair!

I START: smiling when I see my kids, specially this morning... glueing my wifes underwear.

I FINISH: work at various hours, just wish I had a freakin normal job! Shit! I said that out loud!

I BELIEVE: my boss just heard me! WIFEY!

I KNOW: my kids love me, and wifey does to, but not right now since she found my dirty socks on the floor.

I CAN: draw really good, but it's been a while since my wife wont let me do nudes.

I CAN’T: whistle. Look like a freakin idiot when I try!

I SEE: the world as a pretty confusing place that could be better if it wasn't for greed, and Howard Stern.

I BLOG: for the fun of it!

I READ: newspapers, blogs, online articles, and my arch nemisis Dear Abby

I AM AROUSED BY: the scent a women, when my wife is not around. ;)

IT PISSES ME OFF: when a certain person doesn't understand that what I wrote before this sentence was a joke!

I FIND: that some people can't handle the truth, only truthiness.

I LIKE: laughing, and joking! I'm an easy going guy! You can ask my wife when she's in a good mood!

I LOVE: my wife, my kids, my family, my friends, pizza, Pepsi, paper, pencils on my Penoli Pine Easel. Phew!

Don't worry people, I'm not tagging anyone. You're more than welcome to this Meme, and to use the image above, just remember me! I gave it the freakin name!

Happy Mothers Day!