Hey AL:
I need your help!!! I don’t understand this man that I met and I need your advice!!!
Long story short, I have known this man called “P” for about a year, P ‘s boss is my business client and that’s how I come to know him. We have known each other for about a year and during these period, we only communicating with each other once every two /three months (For biz purpose).
Out of the blue, P invited me to lunch 2 weeks ago and I didn’t know it was a date or not, but I said yes anyway. During the 4 hours lunch, he talked a lot about himself (from his childhood to his adult life and more personal stuff (like his relationship with his family) that I didn’t expect to hear. I didn’t really talk much during the lunch as I did encourage P to talk more of himself and I was very intrigued with his life stories and experience (but I also realised I can only see him as a friend). He insisted paying for the lunch and when I objected, he said I could pay for the next one….
I did send him a thank you email on the same day but I haven’t heart from him eversince!!! So I shoot him an whatsapp msg yesterday but he ignored me!! WTH?? OK..eventhough P doesn’t think I am datable, can’t we just be friend?? He seems like a cool guy to hangout with and now I feel a bit awkward about the next time we have a business meeting! How should I react? Should I just pretend we didn’t even have that “lunch” thing and just try to act like nothing happened?
-- Confused Woman
Yo Confused Woman
You're probably confused as to why I haven't responded in over two months, which is not new to you the way you handle that business relationship. You stated before that your communication with P was once every two to three months and your concerned why he hasn't responded to your message two weeks after that lunch together? The man is ignoring you and you're asking me how you should react at your next business meeting? Well, here's a clue. Don't ask him how's his family is doing during your PowerPoint presentation!
Your first mistake was having lunch with your client's employee! You've done business with P. You don't take him up for a corn-dog!
Second, there shouldn't be a second! Anyway, second, as soon as P opened up about his pathetic life, you should've stopped him at birth! You should've looked at your watch and remembered your meeting with an imaginary client.
Third... pretty sad it's gone this far. Sending P a thank you email after you probably thanked him for lunch (another mistake) was moronic. Never say THANK YOU! Those words are for retailers on the store floor! It wasn't an official date, and why thank someone who made your ears bleed?
Fourth... whatever... Don't worry if P is present at your business meeting with your client. The man has ignored you (smart move on is part) for over two weeks. That lunch was a mistake, so carry on like it nevered happened. If for some reason P brings it up out of embarrassement due to your professionalism at the meeting say "No problem... Lets talk business." If he insists to talk about it say "Sorry... Meeting someone for lunch," and get your ass out of there! Don't stick around to listen to his current life story, doing your clients laundry!
If you're out of business by now since I haven't responded in time, chalk this up as a lessoned learned. You'll know what to do in your next life!
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