Complaint About America's Youth.

Dear AL:
This isn't so much a problem for which I am seeking advice as it is a complaint about America's youth. I'm talking about the poor use of the English language and especially the misuse of the word random.

You can't tell me you haven't noticed. One of the most popular phrases today is "That's so random!" Every time I hear it, I want to BLEEP that stupid 14 year old girl into a BLEEP with a dictionary. When one's friend says something such as, "I love chocolate pudding" in the middle of a conversation about red shift / blue shift theories, that is not random. This friend intentionally chose to proclaim his love for chocolate pudding, for whatever reason, thus denouncing it from being random at all. The same goes for anything that's crazy or off-the-wall. It may be crazy, or it may be off-the-wall, but it certainly is not random if the person meant to say it. The lottery is random. The 50/50 lifeline on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire is random.

My question to you, AL, is what do you say I should do to help out my community and my peers in getting rid of the abuse that this word is recieving?
-- Reagen, http://joedunraygun.blogspot.com

Dear Reagen:
Once MTV's Real World and Jackass is embedded in their heads, there is no changing them! I recommend you buy a good set of earplugs.

I bet you didn't figure I would be so Random!

I'm Very Unhappy

Dear Al:
I live in the shadows of my friend, and I mean it literally.It's not that she's bad or anything but the problem is that everything seems to revolve around her.Every guy(not all just the one i really cared about) I had the slightest feeling towards is interested in her and when I mean every guy, I meant it.Between the two and a half years of knowing her, I have had a total of two male friends whom I am fond of after her, but here's the catch, she's already off the market.
-- Shadow, M'sia

Dear Shadow:
These guys don't want you more than a friend, and you know this.
Are you nuts?

Stay friends with them, but don't waste your time, they're off the market! I hope this helped!

Burger King Is Slow As Hell!

Dear Al:
I have a problem with the local Burger King, they're slow as hell! I'm not sure if it has anything to do with the lack of employees, or the two fat cows that are preparing the meals in the back! One girl is about 200 pounds, and the other girl is as heavy as a Mack truck! They can barely maneuver in the kitchen, and one time they pinned each other, that they had to use the Jaws of Life to free them! I'm not freakin kidding!

Either these girls are eating them out of business, or their roads blocks in the kitchen are slowing them down! Al, what should I do?
-- Extremely Frustrated, California

Dear Extremely Frustrated:
Stop going there, genius!

I bet your ASS is wider than those two girls put together!

Dear Tonya:

When I first saw your post, it gave me a heart attack! Damn that was a long message! But I'm doing fine now at the recovery station at Saint John's Hospital. George Clooney said I'm gona live!

Look, there is so much you can do to help yourself! Find something, a hobby, and concentrate on that, whatever it might be!

I have a friend who is dying of cancer, but she's not giving up, and she's the most happiest person on the planet that I know. I know it sounds hard to believe, and I'm not sure how I would react if I was in her shoes, but I know I wont take my life.

Please, there is so many people in the world going through hard times, but they are making it!

I grew up in the worse part of New York City, I had nothing! I wore the same clothes everyday to school, looked like a bum, got into alot of fights, mostly defending myself, had hardly anything to eat, and lived in a small apartment with my 6 brothers and sisters. It was a mad house! I'm not making this up!

Imagine sharing a bed with a younger brother who's feet stinked like Gods knows what! He didn't want to put his socks in the laundry because he was afraid he would never get them back!

We was lucky to get one meal a day, which wasn't that much. It was always a mad dash to the kitchen in the morning to eat whatever was in the frigerator, because we didn't know if there was gona be anything to eat later.

With all the crap I've been through in my life, I'm still here, living better than before. Tonya, things will get better, you just have to hang in there!

Hope you don't mind that I didn't repost your message here. If you need to get more off your chest, please write me again!

Take care of yourself!

***ATTENTION PEOPLE*** From here on out, Tonya and my blog friends are the only people allowed to write long messages to me!
The rest of you can ROT!

Just kidding about the rotting part, but not the link!

Keep It Short, People!

Due to the chapters from novels I've been recieving asking for advice, I'm laying down some new ground rules!

From this day forward, if you write me a novel, you will be ignored! Seek a freakin publisher!

Keep it short, people! Dammit!

Dear Abby still exist you know!

Look over my archives to see if I already answered a similar problem, or if I already answered you! Sheesh!