I'm very upset! Xiaxue, a blogger who is love of my life is denying me! How can she not feel the conectshion when I rite her on her blog? She's famous, so I can understand this has clouded her dinking, but this making me sad. We belong together! Al, how can I make Xiaxue to take me as her man?
-- Soulmate, Xiaxue's blog
Get a hold of yourself! Maybe Xiaxue doesn't feel the connection because you can't fuckin' write! The only person who's thinking is clouded is yours, natureboy. You're not the only person who has fallen head over heals for her, but you might be the only moron online who thinks he's Xiaxue's soulmate.
Move along, you don't have a chance!
Filed under: advice, dumbasses, insane, looking, on the internet, personal problems