Funky Feet

Dear Al:
I have a very embarrassing problem, I have toenail fungus. The first time I discovered it was three years ago, but I didn't think much of it because I thought it was nothing. After a few months I noticed that it spread to some of my other toenails, so I decided to do something about it, I started to wash my feet. I thought this was the answer to my problem, but it continued to spread like wild fire, and now all my toes are infected! They look yellow with a crusty britle look to them, thicker than normal, and they smell.

I've stopped going to the pool since it's so bad, but I still suffered and embarrassing moment because of them. Two months ago while I was practicing my kicks at my Karate class with my teacher, he got hit with a piece of toenail when he caught my foot in front of his face and discovered my little problem. He then announced it to everyone in class and everybody started to run!

I would really like to attend Karate class again, but what can I do about my toenail problem?
-- Manfred, United Kingdom

Dear Manfred:
Try some Epson Salt, foot powder, see a foot specialist, just keep them things away from me!

Seriously, see a specialist, and if they recommend Lamisil for your toenail fungus, just to let you know, in some cases Lamisil has caused liver damage, but don't bring this up with the specialist, just to see if the specialist brings this risk up themselves. That way you will know if they're truthful, morons, or just plain evil, which is your cue to Karate kick their ass with your funky feet!