I Have A Big Problem!

Dear Al:
A few days ago I woke up and realized there was something hard in my boxer shorts. I tried to ignore it and a few minutes later it went away. Since then I was afraid of getting this thing again. Today in school I saw a very pretty girl and suddenly I had the feeling that my trousers were too tight. I nearly started to cry, because I din´t know what was going on. here in Germany exists a magazin called "Bravo", which has got an extra part about sexuality. It´s called " Dr. Sommer Team". An inner voice told me to ask the team around Dr. Sommer for help. But I´m too afraid they print my letter in there magazin and everyone in school loughes about me. So I´m searching the anonymity of the I-Net and I´m asking you for help. What can I do against that hard thing? but the most important question is: What the hell is that thing in my boxer shorts?

Peace for the world says Friedel and wishes Al a great day.
-- Friedel, Germany, Sankt Augustin

Dear Friedel:
Sounds like you have a serious case of Bratwurst! You need to seek a professional to have it surgically removed, then visit the town hall to change your name to Frieda. I hope this helped!