Dear Al:It has come to my attention, finally, that not having arms can complicate my dreams of becoming a professional volleyball player. The real problem lies that I'm always late for practice because I spend a lot of time tying my shoes, you know, being blind and all, can be troublesome sometimes. When I’m at practice, some of the guys in my team always say I’m not a "team player". They get angry at me because when they ask for some Gatorade I never deliver on time but they don’t understand that without legs, it’s difficult to carry the Gatorade around! If it’s any consolation, I’m only deaf in one ear, so I usually hear them calling out for their beloved Gatorade.
So my question is, should I change my dream of being a professional volleyball player, or should I switch to my other dream, water polo?
Thanks for the help, please allow 5-10 days for a reply because typing with my nipples can be a little tiresome.
-- Bob S. Herplis, http://www.nukesandcandy.com
Dear Bob:
Look... to play volleyball requires alot of jumping, which might be a problem for you, and you can forget water polo! Sorry!
Ever thought about playing Soccer?
If the Black Knight can do it, so can you!
If any of your teammates complain about you being late again... bite-em!
7 comments:
I don't even want to KNOW what extremity he used to type this question to you, al!!!
im confused. this man doesnt have arms... or legs... (or perfect hearing) and he can supposedly carry gatorade, and wear shoes. shoes ?
now, typing with ones nipples is rare. what about tryin to set a world record for being the first man to type a novel with his nipples... mm.
He can use the power of the mind to play! Remember Courteney Cox in Misfits of Science? Something like that would be cool. ;-)
Bet he has a lovely personality...what do ya reckon?
And he should stand up for himself and tell his team mates to get their own damn gatorade. Oh..yeah...well he can give them a stern look then...
um
OMG! I've got it...he could go into wrestling and be the perfect BODY SLAMMER!!!
Good suggestion about soccer Al, head buttin' stuff boyo lol
That is just wrong! He needs to become a
mime.
Thats perfect for him.
Hope your weekend was a smashing success.
Well Al, thanks for the reply.
I thought about what you said, and decided to can the water polo dream, I don’t know why my ears cramp so much when I'm swimming, but what can you do. It’s not my calling you know.
The biting thing turned out to be a great idea I got a lot of respect from my team mates. Well, respect, until I bit one too hard and my prosthetic teeth came out. Now they where the ones playing soccer. Then they hid it somewhere afterwards and it was really hard to find, you know, because of the blindness. Finally, Guillermo, the janitor found them for me.
I read the comments these warm hearted people made here, and took into consideration the Wrestling and he Novel writing. I don't know about the soccer, I can’t run that fast with my buttocks, they tend to cramp as well.
Fun and entertaining blog Mr. Al, keep it up.
I'll report how I did with the Wrestling latter on because my nipples are starting to cramp.
A bag full of thanks.
Bob S. Herplis
.
he should just be in porn. there's always job openings there. And from what I hear the rewards are quite satisfying.
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