Dear Al:You seem like a decent guy, and I would just like a little bit of advice about a friend of mine.
Y'see, I had a friend who'll I'll call Z. The problem is, though she was my friend, she was always so needy, clingy, and darn right insulting to me and about my friends (when in my opinion she had no reason to be like that over herslef or others), yet I was fine with her as I rarely saw her and sometimes she could be fun(plus we had similar music tastes). She seemed to like me, and used me to as a earpiece.
However, I've recently gone to university and have escaped her influence. While there I have also got myself a boyfriend who I think the world of. However, M has decided to generally be insulting to me over email about me ('I've changed' as I don't have enough time to listen to her problems all evening) and my boyfriend-a lad she has never met. It came to a head when I stuck up for another friend and she said that I was generally disaggreeing with her too much in a matter of speaking with a few more swear words. After all I have done for her, I stopped speaking to her.
The problem is, as a friend I miss her. She could be funny and I keep on replaying the arguement in my head as there was so much I wish I had told her about how fustrated she made me and how she wound me up with her continual whining.
You must think I'm an idiot for putting up with someone like that for so long. To be honest, I think I am, but that is largely due to being as tolerant with people as physically possible. I just hate the idea of people not liking me or falling out with me.
All I would like to know is; did I do the right thing stopping myself from talking to this friend, and how can I stop feeling so conflicted over Z?
Ta, Al!
-- X
Dear X:
Is M also Z? I'm lost on the second paragraph!
If this problem with your friend is troubling you, give her a call and try to patch things up, but that doesn't mean to kiss her ass! She either has to accept you having other friends or accept not having you as a friend, and if she has nothing else to talk about other than problems 24-7, she needs to seek a psychiatrist. Friends can disagree and still be friends, but if she can't handle that... drop this fruit cake!
Z will grow up one day, but until then hang out with the rest of the alphabet!
7 comments:
So is X REALLY X or is X maybe a T? Guess we'll never know. Love your closing line though. ;)
Good advice.....just hang out with the rest of the alphabet....LOL
Have a great day!!!
yea one thing I certainly try to stay away from is NEEDY FRIENDS. They'll kill you and once you're dead, they'll find another person to totally drain the life out of.
hangout with the rest of the alaphabet! she sounds way to needy and confusing.
"I just hate the idea of people not liking me or falling out with me." X, you need to remember this: you dont like everyone. so its not like everyone has to like you. and its natural to dislike confrontations and fights. i would send her a card (this way, you dont have to talk to her) to thank her for her friendship and basically, farewell. this will get you closure and help you to move on.
I like lastlifeinmyuniverse's advice on the card thingy. I nearly used that myself early this year. Lol. Listen to her... and Al, naturally. =P
I have a friend like that, and I'm able to tell her exactly what I think of her, and she of me. Thats what makes a great friend.
You don't always have to agree with them, or tell them "WHAT" they want to hear to make them like you. And if thata all they want and all you'll accept of them, then they aren't your TRUE friends.
If your missing her, tell her, but don't let her get away with being a bitch to your other friends, or your BF when she doesn't even know them.
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