Can u plase help me out?

Hi AL:
for my site i need a few fake problems relating anything cause my site aint that famous. Can u plase help me out. ive searched the net but couldn't find one. I believe that by this i might start getting original messages from people. - Kundan Churnaa

Yo Kundan:
***Smack!***

"Can u plase help me out." Are you fuckin' kidding me?
Plase don't write me again!

My writers are as real as your bad grammar!