Wife's Facebook profile states Democrat. Divorcing!

Hey AL:
Tonight I discovered my wife is a freakin' liberal on her Facebook profile. So the love she says she has for me, our relationship, was all a lie! She knows I'm a Republican, so what else could it be. She was desperate! When I talked to her about it, and that I want a divorce, her tearful response would have been genuine if she was a Republican, but we know Democrats are frauds.

Al, I feel kind of sorry for her. Should I give her a chance if she converts parties? She might do it.
-- Matt, Ohio

Dear ASSHOLE:
Divorce her. You'll be doing her a favor.

Can't have her expressing her love for you, specially since she's a liberal. How dare she marry you! And to think, you was happy with her up till now. What were you thinking, Matt?