Kinda hard to type right now... been to the doctor... so I'm taking a little break. I'LL stop by your blogs when I'm feeling better.
Don't forget about me! ALRIGHT!
Weight Problem After Childbirth
Dear Al:During the pregnancy I gained quite a bit of weight and eventhough it has been 3 months since the delivery, I have not been able to shed a pound so far. I have tried aerobics, cut out on sugar and fried food, go for walks every day with our little son, but nothing is working. The problem is that my husband is not motivating me to lose the weight, he claims now that I am fat, there is more to grab!
What should I do? I want to go shopping for new clothes, but I want to lose these extra pounds first!
Thank you for your advice. And don't be rude!!
-- Cristina, Curitiba, Brazil
Dear Christina:
Sounds like your husband loves you no matter what you look like, which is great, but he could've worded it differently. You probably had this conversation with your husband, but tell him again how seriously you need his help! No more fat jokes!
If he's still not taking you serious, then tell him "If you don't help me, I'll pull a Roseanne Barr by packing on a ton of weight, and the only way you be able to grab me is with a lasso!" If he begins to laugh, stuff your face full of cake! That will show him!
Serious, right after childbirth your body needs to recover. Your iron and vitamin and mineral stores have been depleted. Seventy percent of new mothers are anemic. Therefore, you shouldn't think of dieting for two to three months after childbirth.
Immediately after the baby is born, you will lose about 11 pounds. You will then lose 9 to 11 more pounds over the next few weeks in fluids, a shrinking uterus, etc. Then your goal should be to lose no more than one to two pounds a month for the first six months. Losing more than 4 1/2 pounds a month is unsafe.
Man, I wish I was smart enough to know all of the above! Discovered this information on WebMD, you can read more half way down the page on WebMD from Brown.
I hope this helped!
Blogger 101, Jessica & Trudy
Welcome to another course of Blogger 101!
Today's class we're gona learn about Jessica and Trudy w/The Dancin Booty, two bloggers who haven't posted an entry on their blogs in almost a week! WTF!
Jessica's husband has been gone for almost 3 months, but he's back. I guess she probably squeezed him so tight, she broke her fingers, and thinks she can't blog! But that's no excuse, use your toes!
Trudy's last entry on her blog "Sweet Savory Tart" was a recipe, and her last sentence was "You'll love me for this recipe", Translated "Hope this recipe keeps you fools busy stuffing your faces while I take a break from blogging"! If I eat another Ripe Pear and Crisp Apple with Bleu Cheese, I think I'm gona throw-up! Trudy, get your ass back on the keyboard! Please!
If you want to learn more about these AWOL bloggers, Jessica & Trudy, go visit their blogs, and maybe you'll be my nextvictim subject for Blogger 101!
Today's class we're gona learn about Jessica and Trudy w/The Dancin Booty, two bloggers who haven't posted an entry on their blogs in almost a week! WTF!
Jessica's husband has been gone for almost 3 months, but he's back. I guess she probably squeezed him so tight, she broke her fingers, and thinks she can't blog! But that's no excuse, use your toes!
Trudy's last entry on her blog "Sweet Savory Tart" was a recipe, and her last sentence was "You'll love me for this recipe", Translated "Hope this recipe keeps you fools busy stuffing your faces while I take a break from blogging"! If I eat another Ripe Pear and Crisp Apple with Bleu Cheese, I think I'm gona throw-up! Trudy, get your ass back on the keyboard! Please!If you want to learn more about these AWOL bloggers, Jessica & Trudy, go visit their blogs, and maybe you'll be my next
No one is laughing!
Dear AL:I'm a Standup comedian. I've been doing standup at the local improv for the last 3 years since I graduated High School. I use to make some people laugh, but now they mostly look at me like I'm a freakin retard.
I was thinking about going to an improv school, but with my job I can't afford it.
Al, standup is all I know! Have any ideas?
-- Ray, California
Dear Ray:
If you think by going to an improv school it's gona improve your standup, you must really suck! Sit your ass down!
Hope this helped!
I Have a Complex
Dear AL:Last Thursday one of the most amazing girls I ever known tried to give me a kiss right after I helped her out with a simple math equation, showing her why complex number z is the sum of a real number and an imaginary number in complex waves.
The whole time while I was showing her this easy equation, I was scared she was gonna get a good look at my teeth! Four of my top teeth are so big, that when I close my mouth, you still see them! After about 10 minutes of explaining the equation to her, I saw her look at me kinda funny. She then got closer like she wanted to kiss, but I looked down at my shirt pocket as I put my pencil in it.
Since that day she's always staring at me, so maybe she likes me, or finally noticed my teeth! Why would a beautiful girl like someone like me? Al, I would love to be with her, but I don't feel comfortable with how I look! HELP!
-- Dave, Australia
Dear Dave:
Look, it sounds like she doesn't mind your teeth, and I'm sure you wont chisel her by accident if you kiss her. Take her out on a date, and while you're out explain the equation E=mc2. And when the time is right, and you know she wants it, peck away! Good luck!
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