Dear Al:This is driving me crazy! Everytime my stay at home wife gets her hands on a bag of chips, box of Lucky Charms, or whatever, she tears into it like a fuckin rat, leaving a huge mess in the cabinets! When we eat at the table, it's like she forgets there's food on it, so she opens up a newspaper on top of everything like a freakin retard! She lets the garbage overflow with tons of gnats everywhere! She always fuckin messes up the backyard shed! I mean how hard is it to put things back where you got it from? She just throws things in there in a pile that I can't reach my freakin tools when I need them!
Al, I talked to her about this a million times! WTF is going on?
I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!
-- Mike, living in a pigpen
Yo Mike:
Sounds like you both have kids! If not... RUN!
Maybe she's overwhelmed with the house work, and is crying out for help, or she's just a pig! Give her a hand, and if possible, convince her to find a hobby or job to get her out of the house! Maintaining a home is hard work, she can't do it alone!
The next time she opens a newspaper over food, pour your drink on it, but not during dinner time, unless you want a Ginsu steak knife in your ass! I hope this helped!
Filed under: advice, family matters, health, relationship problems
Dear Al:
Too all my readers, and to some of the people I responded to, I'm sorry. After seeing where my blog is heading by my two posts before this one, and a few others, it's not a pretty picture. Originally all I wanted to do was give advice with a touch of sarcasm, but instead I bashed some people. Now there were some writers that had it coming, but a few misguided souls didn't deserve this.