A friend thinks I should pull a Britney Spears

Dear AL:
First I have to say, I really enjoy reading your blog.
I'm a known actress, but not on the scale my manager thinks I have the potential to become. I played in a few movies, episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and other TV series. Anyway, a friend of mine thinks I should pull a Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan upskirt, by letting photographers catch me with no underwear underneath a miniskirt. She keeps telling to do this, and it's getting on my nerves. My friend who's an unknown actress is the best, but how can I tell her that I'm not gona pull a pathetic stunt like that?
-- Your California Fan

Dear Fan:
Giving away clues? Do you want me to tell my readers who I think you are, or pretending to be? Get a life! But if you're that actress... Where were you when I went to band camp? :P

Anyway, tell your friend that showing off your cooch will just justify those morons thinking that the only thing females have worth anything is their vagina. You're obviously very intelligent for making it as far as you did in the entertainment industry. If she continues bugging you to do this, remind the genius where she stands in the food chain compared to you, then throw her a biscuit. Hope this helped!

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