Dear AL:For the past month and a half at my new job, my butt ugly supervisor I nicknamed Stinky has been sexually harassing me. At first I thought he was just trying to make me feel at home, since I was new. It all started when I had a problem with my computer, which Stinky offered his help. He leaned over my shoulder with his face to look at my monitor, that we was cheek to cheek. I then heard him sniffing my perfume, and when I got a whif of him, I felt like throwing up! He smells like a smoker who eats horse crap!
He's always walking into my cubicle while I'm working, most of the time sneaking in so he can rub my shoulders, but last week Stinky played with my hair! Everywhere I go, Stinky shows up, and always sits next to me during meetings! He asked me out one time, but I told him I was taken, so he said "a little affair goes a long way", Quid Pro Quo.
Al, what can I do about Stinky? It's bad enough he smells like shit, the man is geting on my nerves!
-- Harrassed, Big-Ass Corporation
Dear Harassed:
Sorry Stinky is doing more than smelling up your airspace, time to set his ass straight! Keep telling him firmly to stop, talk about it with others, while Documenting and keeping copies of dates, times, and witnesses of everything that's happening, emails that are related to the harassment, even if it's anonymous, negative actions that you experience because of your refusal to submit to sexually harassing behavior, poor evaluation, a demotion, or low grade because of your refusal to cooperate with the sexual demands.
Buy yourself one of those tiny voice activated tape recorders, and hide it somewhere close to your computer, or better, wire yourself. Keep copies of the tapes at home. You need as much evidence as possible, specially if Stinky is popular, so they can't take his word over yours and give you the boot, but more than likely they are looking for an excuse to get rid of Funky Ass Breath!
Once you collected enough evidence to fry Stinky, go out and buy yourself one of these handy dandy gas masks, and every time mr. Funk Breath walks into your office cubicle, scream "GAS!", and put it on! After a few times of doing this, Stinky should get the picture, or have a heart attack! Then proceed to your companys Human Resource office and file your complaint, just remember to take the mask off!Visit the Sexual Harassment Support site, that's where I got most of my information. They don't have any advice if the harasser stinks, but I got you covered!
