Mount St. Helen

Dear Al:
I have this big zit on my face my girlfriend nicknamed Mount Saint Helen, since the head is so white and large as hell! She's afraid to kiss me fearing that it could burst in her face, I'm embarrassed about being in public, and the guys at work rag on me all the time calling me zit instead of Zach! Al, have any advice?
-- Zach, Tucson Arizona

Dear Zach:
Pop it, you freakin idiot! Sheesh!

Zit face, how did you get my email anyway?

Working the morning shift again!

Yep folks! This week I have the morning shift again, and since I have tons of work to do around the house (cleaning up after my kids), I wont be able to answer anyone today. I was thinking about trying to respond to one writer today, but since my Blogger account took over half an hour to work properly, I'm out of time.

I don't know any blog service that performs major maintenace which closes all operation every other freakin day! I hope Blogger fixes whatever problems they're having before my next life!

Have a great day people! I'll have something posted tomorrow, if Blogger plays nice! I make a bet after this entry my blog never makes it to Bloggers main page under Blogs of Note. Waah!

Boyfriend Behaving Strangely

Dear AL:
My boyfriend has never been REALLY mean to me or anything, but he's really short tempered and prideful at times. He also NVR listens, no matter what I told him. But lately, he's behaving real strangely, he's treating me extremely nice, being really kind and thoughtful, blowing me kisses and stuff like that. It's such a sudden change, is he cheating on me?
-- L, Earth

Dear L:
Usually when someone all of a sudden changes for the better out of the blue, it's because they finally realized how much you mean to them... right after they cheated! I could be wrong, but I'm hardly ever.
Maybe he didn't cheat, so enjoy his sudden change of heart, until he turns back into swellhead you hooked up with!

If you do find out he's cheating, and it's been going on for a long time, drop him like a bad habit! He may never answer the question "Why?"

Feel Like I Don't Belong

Dear Al:
so i have some school problems especially with math and no one actually listens to me. im in math honors which is something i worked my butt off for and when i finally get it i feel like i dont belong. first of all every friend of mine wants to cheat off me. im only geting 80s and i feel uncomfortable. the class is overcrowed and i cant see anything he writes. i feel like i dont belong and i want to get out but if i get out then im afraid it might look bad on my report card. what should i do?
-- Stephanie, Math Honors

Dear Stephanie:
Are you also having problems with English? Thanks! I don't feel so bad about my writting!

Why in the name of all that's holy would anybody want to make math honors? Anyway, you wouldn't be there if you didn't have what it takes, which alot of MTV Real World watching morons wished they had, brains! Don't take this the wrong way, you can be smart and cool at the same time. My brainiac brother had girls lined up around the block... twice!

Ask your teacher if he could move you closer to the board, which would also relieve you of the pressure of your moronic friends copying off ya, and just do your best. If you still don't feel comfortable about being there, talk to your math teacher and find out what your options are.
I hope this helped!

Unannounced Vacation

Don't you hate it when I disappear for a few days without leaving word, well this time it wasn't my fault! The day after I posted The Dormitory Boys message with my response, I wanted to let you all know that I was going away for a few days, but my wife went nuts when I tried to get on the computer.

You'll probably thinking I'm wooped... I'm not! OK! Be happy that I'm back to steer you all in the right direction!