Dear Al, you're on notice. - Stephen Colbert

Just to let you know, I've put you on notice. FOX News is gona be giving you a call if you don't appear on my show.

Ok... I can't make them call you, but I'm working on it.

Your telling of the cold hearted truth to your writers annoys me!
-- Stephen Colbert, where ever there's truthiness
www.shipbrook.com/onnotice

Dear Wannabe:
If you was really Stephen Colbert, I just might come on the show, but since your not, kiss my ass!

Have a nice day!

Tagged: Colbert Report, Fox News, Stephen Colbert, truthiness, truth,

WTF is Holiday Mathis Trying To Say?

Dear Al:
I've been playing Lotto forever, and haven't won a thing. My astrology sign stated yesterday that I have a good chance this week, but today it states "Gorillas show they're in love by picking nits off of one another."

What the fuck is Holiday Mathis trying to say?
-- The Player, http://lotterynumberspicker.blogspot.com

Yo Player:
She's horny! I hope this helped!

Welcome to Blogger, and good luck playing Lotto!

Filed under: personal problems, confused

Veered Off Course! Sorry!

Too all my readers, and to some of the people I responded to, I'm sorry. After seeing where my blog is heading by my two posts before this one, and a few others, it's not a pretty picture. Originally all I wanted to do was give advice with a touch of sarcasm, but instead I bashed some people. Now there were some writers that had it coming, but a few misguided souls didn't deserve this.

From here on out I'm gona try to be a better man, you all deserve this, except for a few dummies! :)

How Can I Make Xiaxue Take Me As Her Man?

Hey Al!
I'm very upset! Xiaxue, a blogger who is love of my life is denying me! How can she not feel the conectshion when I rite her on her blog? She's famous, so I can understand this has clouded her dinking, but this making me sad. We belong together! Al, how can I make Xiaxue to take me as her man?
-- Soulmate, Xiaxue's blog

Yo Soul:
Get a hold of yourself! Maybe Xiaxue doesn't feel the connection because you can't fuckin' write! The only person who's thinking is clouded is yours, natureboy. You're not the only person who has fallen head over heals for her, but you might be the only moron online who thinks he's Xiaxue's soulmate.

Move along, you don't have a chance!

Filed under: advice, dumbasses, insane, looking, on the internet, personal problems

Hav Probim Mit My Gurlfren, Can Yo Helf Me?

Dear Al:
I lik yor blog bus I do nos undorstan it bus das es oka. I hav probim mit my gurlfren becoors she can nos see me wen a cha on da do dat.
Can yo helf me? --Yurgen, Austria

Dear Yurgen:
What?



Filed under: advice, videos, relationship problems, sex?