ive decided to move on but i dont know how

Hey AL:
Whats the best way to forget bout a girl, i really like her and ive liked her for almost 3 years, were really close but i want to be more then "just another guy", so ive decided to move on but i dont know how.
-- Jason, Calgary, AB, CA

Yo Jason:
Best way to move on is to keep yourself busy, like learning how to write.

You suck, dude!

I hope this helped.

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Blogger Beta sucks! Google forced me to switch!

Dear AL:
A day ago I logged into my Blogger account for a few minutes, and logged off. Minutes later I tried to log back into my blog account to add a new header banner and images for my sidebar, but the people at Google fixed it so I had no choice but to switch to Blogger Beta if I wanted access to my blog. So I did. I then uploaded my banner and images to a post, copied their new funky links from the post and pasted it to my blogs template, erasing the links to my old banner, but when I published the images the funky links to them didn't work! I then tried their new editor to see if this would solve my problem, and they switched me back to the old Blogger template, so I deleted my fuckin' blog! I know I could've switched back to my old template, but what's the use if I can't add a simple banner to my blogs header?

Fuckin' %&$%$#0(**@°!

Al, I just needed to vent. Hope you don't mind.
-- Judy, Brazil

Dear Judy:
Vent all you want, but if Blogger forces me to switch over, the world better be ready for an earful! You hear that Google, God dammit!

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I'm so crazy about this girl!

Dear AL:
There's this girl I've seen around for ages, but I can't work up the courage to talk to her. She's very popular, amazingly beautiful, and seems fun to be around. I see her alot when I'm out, and my friends try to incourage me to talk to her, but I just drink my beer. I'm so crazy about this girl! How can I get over my fear to talk to her?
-- Charlie, Idaho

Yo Charlie:
Are you a virgin?

Look, grab your balls and talk to the girl, but if you're a girl, grab your cooch. You're gona hate yourself if you don't at least try. Girls like that don't stay single forever, but if she's already taken, continue drinking.
I hope this helped.

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I need your email address


Dude:
I need your email address so we can send you the e-ticket. Thanks.
-- Will, Philippines, http://gormful.com


Yo:
What'chu talkin' 'bout, Willis?

Oh... The Blog Parteeh?

They want me! They want me! ***Wiping Tears of Joy***
I'll send you my email, Will, in my next life.

Hey, even if I wanted to go, it's not possible. I have a family to take care of, plus I'm late in responding to your message, but thanks for the invitation anyway!

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He shoveled his snow into my driveway

Dear Al:
My next door neighbor is an asshole! Shortly after I shoveled heavy snow off my long driveway into the street, my neighbor whos driveway is next to mine shoveled his snow into my driveway. When I confronted him before he could drive away in his mini van, he said he'll clean it up later and drove off. 10 hours later, the dickhead is home and he hasn't done shit! Al, what's the quickest to kill him?
-- Nelly, American in London

Dear Nelly:
Since this guy has a mini van, he must be married, so the next time you see him with his wife, say thanks for the massage, then run for your life so she doesn't kill you too.

About your driveway, park in his. Problem solved!

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