I Hate My Job!

Dear Al:
I am just out of school and have been working for almost a year in a job that pays well, gave me car, an expense account, a computer, a cell phone, insurance, the whole shebang (not sure if that is actually how you spell shebang). The thing is, I HATE my job and have hated it just about since I started. I've been saying for 6 months that I am going to quit, but I haven't gone through with it. In the last fews weeks I have gotten kinda lazy and started slacking off in day to day responsibilities - I think the end is near. I would quit today if I knew I had a another job waiting for me, but that is alot easier said than done.
I have a couple leads that look promising, but you never know what could come of that. My current employer knows nothing of my discontent and it is really going to blow them away. I know the smart thing to do is just to ride it out until I find something, but I have gotten so lazy in my job the last few weeks that it would be hard continue like this. I want to free myself from this job, this burden that I have created in my life, and clear my thoughts...but I don't know how smart it is to go without real income and insurance. Should I quit now, breath a little easier, and continue my search for a new job (possibly taking a part time); or should I trudge through the next few weeks, continuing my laziness until something better comes up?
-- Jackson, Alabama

Dear Jackson:
You know what's gona come up if you continue your laziness for the next few weeks? A boot in your ass!

Pull yourself out of this slump, be the best at what you was hired to do, while you're looking for another job. No new employer will hire you if your old employer states that you SUCKED, but McDonalds might give you a chance.

To my readers who responded to my entry before this one, you are all worthy!

I'm sick

Kinda hard to type right now... been to the doctor... so I'm taking a little break. I'LL stop by your blogs when I'm feeling better.

Don't forget about me! ALRIGHT!

Weight Problem After Childbirth

Dear Al:
During the pregnancy I gained quite a bit of weight and eventhough it has been 3 months since the delivery, I have not been able to shed a pound so far. I have tried aerobics, cut out on sugar and fried food, go for walks every day with our little son, but nothing is working. The problem is that my husband is not motivating me to lose the weight, he claims now that I am fat, there is more to grab!

What should I do? I want to go shopping for new clothes, but I want to lose these extra pounds first!

Thank you for your advice. And don't be rude!!
-- Cristina, Curitiba, Brazil

Dear Christina:
Sounds like your husband loves you no matter what you look like, which is great, but he could've worded it differently. You probably had this conversation with your husband, but tell him again how seriously you need his help! No more fat jokes!

If he's still not taking you serious, then tell him "If you don't help me, I'll pull a Roseanne Barr by packing on a ton of weight, and the only way you be able to grab me is with a lasso!" If he begins to laugh, stuff your face full of cake! That will show him!

Serious, right after childbirth your body needs to recover. Your iron and vitamin and mineral stores have been depleted. Seventy percent of new mothers are anemic. Therefore, you shouldn't think of dieting for two to three months after childbirth.

Immediately after the baby is born, you will lose about 11 pounds. You will then lose 9 to 11 more pounds over the next few weeks in fluids, a shrinking uterus, etc. Then your goal should be to lose no more than one to two pounds a month for the first six months. Losing more than 4 1/2 pounds a month is unsafe.

Man, I wish I was smart enough to know all of the above! Discovered this information on WebMD, you can read more half way down the page on WebMD from Brown.

I hope this helped!

Blogger 101, Jessica & Trudy

Welcome to another course of Blogger 101!

Today's class we're gona learn about Jessica and Trudy w/The Dancin Booty, two bloggers who haven't posted an entry on their blogs in almost a week! WTF!

Jessica's husband has been gone for almost 3 months, but he's back. I guess she probably squeezed him so tight, she broke her fingers, and thinks she can't blog! But that's no excuse, use your toes!

Trudy's last entry on her blog "Sweet Savory Tart" was a recipe, and her last sentence was "You'll love me for this recipe", Translated "Hope this recipe keeps you fools busy stuffing your faces while I take a break from blogging"! If I eat another Ripe Pear and Crisp Apple with Bleu Cheese, I think I'm gona throw-up! Trudy, get your ass back on the keyboard! Please!

If you want to learn more about these AWOL bloggers, Jessica & Trudy, go visit their blogs, and maybe you'll be my next victim subject for Blogger 101!

No one is laughing!

Dear AL:
I'm a Standup comedian. I've been doing standup at the local improv for the last 3 years since I graduated High School. I use to make some people laugh, but now they mostly look at me like I'm a freakin retard.
I was thinking about going to an improv school, but with my job I can't afford it.

Al, standup is all I know! Have any ideas?
-- Ray, California

Dear Ray:
If you think by going to an improv school it's gona improve your standup, you must really suck! Sit your ass down!

Hope this helped!