She's Always On Top!

Dear Al:
I love my girlfriend to death, but she wont try anything different when it comes to sex!
I want to bang her doggy style, do the 69er, fuck her in the ass, and do the flapjack!
But she wont budge! She's always on top!
She mostly loves riding me while I'm laying on the floor, but my ass can't take that shit anymore! She broke my tailbone!

Al, as of today, I'm wearing the pants in our relationship! I'm gona be on top from here on out! Any ideas how to get there?
-- Ron, Melbourne, Australia

Dear Ron:
If your wife doesn't own a dildo, you might have a chance to get on top!


Or maybe not!

Look... Talk to her, let her know how your ass feels! If she still wont let you get on top, tell her she can ride you as long as you're laying on a bed. If she still wont compromise, grab the nearest dildo! Good luck!

Filed under: dating, relationship problems, sex, videos, youtube

He Wants To Keep His Options Open

Dear Al:
I am dating this guy for over a year and he wants to be able to come and go as he pleases. He doesn't want to be able to be told what to do. He has a lot of female friends and wants to be able to have them over no matter what time of day it is. They have been over his house even past 12 midnight. I'm not aware of this ahead of time, I just call and he mentions it. He says I'm acting ridiculous when I react. He never wanted to compromise with anything because he felt he would lose his identity. Lately he has been compromising with some things. We did break up briefly and got back together but he said "he wants to keep his options open" -- is he just using me until something better comes along? Or what he perceives as something better? I am still intimate with him. Should I stop? What's your opinion of this guy?
-- Christine, Philadelphia

Dear Christine:
Should I stop? WAKE-UP!!!

He tells you he wants to keep his options open, and your like "duh... okay, honey!"

This Player doesn't give a shit about you! You're just someone he has on the side when he's unable to get laid somewhere else. He's gona screw a girl carrying an STD and pass it on to you, that's if he hasn't already done so!

First step, dump his ass and don't look back! Second, get yourself checked out! Third, stop being so needy! Learn to be alone, forget about guys for a while, and just hangout with your girlfriends. Respect yourself, and the next guy will respect you!

Filed under: dating, relationship-problems, unfaithful, trust

Clueless About My Boyfriend's Behaviour

Dear Al:
I'm really clueless about my boyfriend's behaviour, it took him about a month to kiss me for the first time, then we "tried" to have sex a month later after that, but it didn't turn out very well, so I suggested we needed more practice together...we still haven't done it ever since, and it's been a year since we started dating!!!(that's almost 9 month without sex, in case you were doing the math)
I'm in need for a guy's opinion, doesn't he like me? then why is he still with me? how can I take him to bed (without sounding too desperate)?
I'll be waiting for your advice, so please, PLEASE, answer to my message, I do need help!
-- clueless girl, Spain

Dear Clueless:
He likes you like a buddy, that's why he's still with you. The best way to get him in the sack is to have your best friend (Chuck, whomever) sleep over, but don't take sloppy seconds!

Seriously, maybe he has a complex, or he's a closet case, unsure of his sexuality. You two have to talk, and don't take no for an answer. Don't ask him if he's gay, that's a sure deal breaker if he's not! Let him spill his guts, but if he doesn't want to talk, move along. You're wasting your time!

Comments closed on posts older than 2 weeks.

Boyfriend Behaving Strangely

Dear AL:
My boyfriend has never been REALLY mean to me or anything, but he's really short tempered and prideful at times. He also NVR listens, no matter what I told him. But lately, he's behaving real strangely, he's treating me extremely nice, being really kind and thoughtful, blowing me kisses and stuff like that. It's such a sudden change, is he cheating on me?
-- L, Earth

Dear L:
Usually when someone all of a sudden changes for the better out of the blue, it's because they finally realized how much you mean to them... right after they cheated! I could be wrong, but I'm hardly ever.
Maybe he didn't cheat, so enjoy his sudden change of heart, until he turns back into swellhead you hooked up with!

If you do find out he's cheating, and it's been going on for a long time, drop him like a bad habit! He may never answer the question "Why?"

She Wouldn't Listen!

Dear Al:
For years I've been teaching my daughter right from wrong, that some boys just want only one thing, but she wouldn't listen.
My teenage daughter turned into every boys dream, a plaything with accessories.
She had a different boyfriend almost every other month for over 3 years, but none for the last 6 months since she's pregnant with a baby girl.

AL, my daughter told me to write you, do you have any advice?
-- Dawn, Paris, France

Dear Easy:
Do you know who the father is? Of course you do! It was Frédéric, Fabio, Leon, Serge, Pierre, and the rest of France!

Don't start that crap again with dating the city of Paris right after your daughter is born! Learn how to be alone until the right guy comes along, unless you prefer being their plaything, then more power to you, and babies!