Blogger 101, Balls & Eastern Butterfly

Happy St. Patrick's Day! Welcome to another class of Blogger 101!

Today we're gona learn about Balls, not mine.

Balls is an Marine Engineer from the blog
Plan B, and the last post on his blog
"seems like yesterday", wasn't written yesterday, but 3 days ago!

Like our dear President, Balls takes lots of breaks, but he'll be blogging again soon.
So be on the look out for his posted entry "Seems like yesterday that I wrote the post Seems Like Yesterday, but it wasn't"

My next subject is Eastern Butterfly.

Eastern Butterfly complains about everything under the sun, so you bet her husband has some stories to tell!

Eastern Butterfly, like Balls... No, I did not mean she likes balls, she just like the blogger Balls, who's one of my first commentors on my blog!
I wont be able to continue this course if your minds are thinking in the gutter, people!

Anyway, she just discovered that she had an anonymous visitor to her blog, but her NeoCOUNTER can't detect this persons country. I make a bet it was Balls playing around, but not with his balls! OK!

If you want to learn more about Eastern Butterfly, or Balls (The blogger, people!), go visit their blogs, and maybe you'll be my next victim subject for Blogger 101!

Underwear Streaks Making Me Sick!

Dear AL:
I'm a mother of 3 beautiful children, and one funky ass husband! I don't ask for much out of life, take care of everybody and the house, but these streaks in my husbands underwear is getting on my f-ing nerves! I can't take this shit anymore!

I've told him a million times to clean his ass good, to use the whole damn roll of toilet paper if he has to, and he says he does, but he's full of shit!
I mean come on, how hard is it to wipe your ass? It's not rocket science!

Al, I know you're gona have a field day with this email, but I don't care!
If you can help me solve this problem with the streaks in my husbands underwear, I'll do your laundry! His shit is driving me crazy!

You're a guy, and I'm sure you shit your shorts before, what did you do to solve this problem?
-- Loraine, Bronx, New York

Dear Loraine:
No comment!

Wife is in a Redneck Women Video

Dear AL:
Last weekend my wife discovered that she's in a hilarious video on YouTube about Redneck Women, but she's not laughing! I told her not to worry about it, since not many people have seen it, but she's not listening. Could you please help me with my wife?
-- Joe, Kentucky

Dear Joe:
Are you talking about this video?



If your wife is the first redneck or the last redneck in that video, I feel for you!

The video plays fast, so nobody will be able to pin her to it, unless she keeps complaining about it like a parrot. She'll be ok, just give her a cracker!

Backyard Litter Box

Dear Al:
My garden has a pest problem, the neighborhood cats! They turned my garden into their personal litter box! I've tried every trick in the book to repel them, spent hundreds of dollars on various repellents, but they keep coming back. Part of the problem is that my wife likes these cats, because she regularly feeds them when we should be stomping their little heads!

Today after I discovered that a cat peed on my sneakers, since I left them on my terrace, I decided to take them out once and for all, with my sons b-b gun from our second floor window, but my wife foiled my plans when she caught me setting up. If you have any ideas on how to repel these pests, I would greatly appreciate it!
-- BEN, GEORGIA

Dear Ben:
First off, violence never solves anything. How would you like it if one of those cats stomped on your head? It wouldn't feel good now, would it?

Anyway, I had the same problem a few years back, but I discovered a fullproof way to repel these little stray bastards. First become friendly with them, feed them a few times, and when they get use to you, looking up at you waiting to be fed, pee on them. The last person I gave these instructions peed his pants, so make sure you follow each step carefully. Nothing is worse than having the neighborhood cats thinking you're a moron, then you will never get rid of them!

To solve the problem with your wife feeding these pests, wait until she has a stuffed up nose, then put her shoes on the terrace over the weekend so the cats can piss on them, and place them back so she wears them to work Monday morning. Works every time! But if it doesn't work this time, and you find your ass out in the street, write Dear Abby.

Good luck!

Blogger 101, Dawn (aka Webmiztris)

Today readers we're gona learn about
Dawn (aka Webmiztris).

Dawn is a friend, a very beautiful unrefined sarcastic blogger, that when she states
"I doubt he say it go in", you better believe it! Because when she doubts he say it, she doubts he say it! That's how it's gona be, no corrections!


No... no... Dawn is not handicap! She just doubts he say it go in, that's all!

If you want to learn more about Dawn, and what she doubts he say,
go visit her blog! But be careful, Dawn could rub off on ya, then you be doubting he say it too!

Dawn's Blog: Tiny Voices In My Head <--Explains everything, but visit her anyway, and maybe you'll be my next victim subject for Blogger 101!