Caught My Son Having Cybersex!

Dear AL:
One of the worst things in the world I never thought could happen happened tonight in my home! I caught my 18 year old son having cybersex! I walked into his bedroom to say goodnight, and there he was playing with himself in front of his webcam! He quickly put his penis away and turned off his computer, and I walked out in shock!

I don't know who was on the other end, just hope it wasn't a guy! Should I pretend like I didn't see anything?
-- Jolted in Seattle

Dear Jolted:
I'm sure it's not Michael Jackson on the other end, so don't worry. It's the best protection against STD's and he's not playing with someone else's flute. Everything will be ok... It could've been worse.

My Wifes Scheme, Candy Cigarettes

Dear AL:
My wife constantly buys our youngest candy cigarettes, like what she did with our daughter who is now an addicted teenage smoker! My wife tells me it's harmless, but I figured out her sick scheme, bum off cigarettes from our kids! Yep, that's what she's been doing with our teenage daughter while pretending to have quit! Everyday my wife disappears to my daughters room for a smoke! I caught her dozens of times! Since our daughter announced two weeks ago that she's moving out, my wife has been buying our son two packs of these cigarrette candies a day! WTF!

Al, I'm thinking about getting a divorce if ass breath doesn't cut this shit out! Help!
-- Kevin, Texas

Dear Kevin:
Ass breath... I mean your wife is one sick bitch! Don't just think about it, threaten her with divorce and custody of your son if she doesn't stop buying these candies! Tell her to seek help, like a good shrink, and take your son to a dentist, pronto!

The American Cancer Society "Kick the Habit" info recommends the following suggestions to smokers on their quiting day:

* Do not smoke. "Like, no duh!"
* Get rid of all cigarettes, lighters, ashtrays, and any other items related to smoking.
* Keep active—try walking, exercising, or doing other activities or hobbies.
* Drink lots of water and juices.
* Begin using nicotine replacement if that is your choice.
* Attend stop smoking class or start following a self-help plan.
* Avoid situations where the urge to smoke is strong.
* Reduce or avoid alcohol.

I hope this helped!

New Blogger in Beta, Pros and One Con.

If you haven't heard, Blogger is doing a Beta run of new features, drag & drop WYSIWYG template editor, labeling posts by category, privatizing your blogs, and dynamic "on the fly" serving of blog content, which means no more long waits when you publish a post or update your blogs template! Calm down people! Calm down!

Before you ask the question how to switch your blogger account to this new service, there's a few Cons you need to know. I checked out a few blogs that made the switch, and their comments are buggy, works when it wants to work. Users who have not switched to Blogger in beta will not be able to login to comment on blogs that have been switched, but commenting using the "anonymous" or "other" options still work. So if you made the switch to Blogger in Beta, you wont see your blogfriends profile images anymore in your comments, but if they write you using "other", how do you know it's really them and not some sicko pretending to be them? Major Con in my book if you ask me! The above has been resolved! Go Blogger!

From what I read on several blogs who have made the switch to Blogger in Beta, you can no longer edit the template manually, only with the WYSIWYG template editor. Does this mean you can't add plugins like your blogrolling blogroll, or use offline posting tools like Qumana for your blogs, or updating through Photobucket to post videos and pictures? Don't know! But John over at Freshblog informed me that manual template editing in beta is apparently coming within days!

Hey, this is my 100th post! The drinks are on you!

Didn't Make The Cut

Dear Al:
Yesterday was tryouts for our community flag football team, but I didn't make the cut. I've been playing this game for ages!
I'm a pro! I did make the mistake of tackling a player during the tryouts, but that can happen to anybody when you're all souped-up! Any idea how I can get these kids to change their minds?
-- Jenkins, New York

Dear Jenkins:
Kids? You must be older than dirt! There's only so many players a team can have on their roster, and if they have their players you're out of luck. Your best bet is to attend the games, because you never know when they might be short a player, then that's your chance to fill in. Just remember one thing, there is no tackling in flag football, at least the way I play it, but if you want an early retirement, keep it up!

Boyfriend Doesn't Respect Me In The Slightest

Dear AL:
ok..so where do i start??...i know ur a common guy awnsering this so im not expecting a miricle just maybe a round about awnser on what my man may be thinking....
im 22 and have a four yr old son...i started seeing my bout 2 and half yrs ago..when we were five months going out he did the dirty on me(ie he cheated(only kissing and gropping))...then after forgiving him i decided to forgive him and we were like any other couple with the usual arguments untill lately...my son was diagnosed with mild autism last september and may i stress very very mild...my boyf has been great...he can be tough on my son but i know he loves him so so much and i know my son adores him to bits...but the problem is that my boyfriend doesnt respect me in the slightest...hed prefer to leave me at home when he goes out... will come to visit me when ever it pleases him and it doesnt matter what i say..maybe its me to oand i will accept some of the blame i can be a bit clingy and i will admit to that but it just seems to me that hes having his cake and eatin it at the same time if you know what i mean... hes said to me so many times after bein together 2 and half years that hes movin to america when he finishes his apprentiship to become an electritian...so i really wonder will he leave me or is this a self esteem issue for him and is he just trying to make himself feel better...please reply...desperatly seeking advice xxx
-- Shauna, Dublin, Ireland

Dear Shauna:
Your man is thinking that he found himself a sucker! Sorry, but someone has to tell you like it is!

He's tough on your son and you allow this, goes out on his own all the time, then scares you stating he's gona leave, so you cling to him like he's the last guy on earth. When the opportunity presents itself, he will leave you, that's for sure. He's only looking out for #1, himself! You are nothing but a doormat to him!

Shauna, you are wasting your time. Think about your future, your sons well being! There are alot of nice fun guys out there, but you will never meet them if you don't drop this bum! You can try talking to him, but more than likely he's gona tell you what you want to hear, or threaten to leave for the states like before, then pull the same bullshit with you all over again! He's playing games with your head, time you pulled the plug!
I hope this helped! Take care of yourself and your son!