A friend thinks I should pull a Britney Spears

Dear AL:
First I have to say, I really enjoy reading your blog.
I'm a known actress, but not on the scale my manager thinks I have the potential to become. I played in a few movies, episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and other TV series. Anyway, a friend of mine thinks I should pull a Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan upskirt, by letting photographers catch me with no underwear underneath a miniskirt. She keeps telling to do this, and it's getting on my nerves. My friend who's an unknown actress is the best, but how can I tell her that I'm not gona pull a pathetic stunt like that?
-- Your California Fan

Dear Fan:
Giving away clues? Do you want me to tell my readers who I think you are, or pretending to be? Get a life! But if you're that actress... Where were you when I went to band camp? :P

Anyway, tell your friend that showing off your cooch will just justify those morons thinking that the only thing females have worth anything is their vagina. You're obviously very intelligent for making it as far as you did in the entertainment industry. If she continues bugging you to do this, remind the genius where she stands in the food chain compared to you, then throw her a biscuit. Hope this helped!

Technorati: advice, advice blog, advice blogger, counsel, recommendation, recommendations, opinion, opinions, friendship, friendships, Britney Spears, Britney, Studivz, Spears, Spear, Lindsay Lohan, crotch shot, upskirt, up skirt, photo, nude photo, vagina, entertainment, entertainment industry, star

I Don't Love Him Anymore

Dear AL:
I'm so tired. I loved him once and now no more. I wanna break with him but I know he loves me very much. He will be very sad if he knows that I don't love him anymore. What can I do to tell him and he wont be hurt? What can I do?
-- Jeanie, Asia

Dear Jeanie:
There's really no easy way around this. You have to tell him that you want to break up, that you don't love him anymore, and why. The longer you wait, the worse it's gona get. It's better to get it over with so both of you can go on with your lives.

Ignore the picture above, he probably wont be that shocked, but if he is... RUN!

A Letter to AL

Hey Al:
I've read this entire blog and found some of your replies rather callous. While you may have meant it as a joke, the person who approached you had serious intentions. How would you feel if your reply had made the matter worse for him/her?

I've read Dear Abby, too, and found that her replies seem somewhat gentler and more serious and the readers would probably take her advice with less resentment.

Al, you're a great writer but you really need to brush up on your attitude sometimes.

Please note that I still enjoy reading your column but I hold a more light hearted attitude towards it now.
-- Liz

Dear Liz:
After reading your email, I'm a changed man. NOT! :)

I understand where you're coming from, Liz, but this is my blog.
Writers know what they're getting into if they read previous posts.
It's not my fault if they don't do their research before submission.

I'm really not a bad guy. Ask Satan!

Thanks for writing!

They tell me my attitude sucks.

Dear AL:
I am so tired of my life. There are just so many bitches around me who purposefully hurt me by spreading fake rumors about me to others. The really horrible thing is that other people actually believe them.

Al, I have to see these people on a regular basis, and I feel horrible when I have to interact with them. They always find some way to exclude me. Just last week, they refused to share a taxi with me to get to someplace, and I ended up having to get a cab by myself while they left in groups, chattering happily.

Also, when I get so tired of them I finally snap, they tell me my attitude sucks. Al, they are the ones who started it, and I am merely retaliating. Please give advice and don't be sarcarstic!(: Thank you.
-- Jazzy

Dear Jazzy:
No you didn't! Don't tell me what to do, you... you... you... &*+%#!

Ok, about your problem :) Why are you hanging out with bitches? If they're talking shit about you behind your back, excluding you, then telling you that you have an attitude problem, it's your fault because you're still hanging out with them. On the other hand, are you the type that can't take a joke? Maybe the reason why they exclude you is because they hate being careful about what they say around you, knowing they might hurt your feelings.

You have a choice, either stop hurting yourself by hanging out with them, or try to accept them so they would accept you, but if you're a dude, give these girls their space!

I've tried, but couldn't find a car crowded with females, alright!

Birthday coming up, but no circle of friends

Hey AL:
I feel sorry for myself about not having a circle of friends to celebrate my birthday with. I have friends, but on an individual basis. Now my 19th birthday is coming.. and I dont know how celebrate it... or if I should...
-- No CIRCLE of friends, Australia

Dear Anonymous:
***Violin playing***

Not everyone has to party like Paris Hilton, just hangout with one of your friends. But if you're looking for your very own posse, go swimming with some dolphins.

It's better to have one good friend than a whole bunch of posers.
You're gona be ok.

Happy Birthday!

***Ending Composition***
***Breaking violin on Chuck's head***