He shoveled his snow into my driveway

Dear Al:
My next door neighbor is an asshole! Shortly after I shoveled heavy snow off my long driveway into the street, my neighbor whos driveway is next to mine shoveled his snow into my driveway. When I confronted him before he could drive away in his mini van, he said he'll clean it up later and drove off. 10 hours later, the dickhead is home and he hasn't done shit! Al, what's the quickest to kill him?
-- Nelly, American in London

Dear Nelly:
Since this guy has a mini van, he must be married, so the next time you see him with his wife, say thanks for the massage, then run for your life so she doesn't kill you too.

About your driveway, park in his. Problem solved!

Technorati: driveway, dickhead, asshole, UK, London, Europe, heavy, snow, massage, advice, blog, weblog, blogger, bloggers, column, solutions, everyday, problems

Boyfriend thinks Bloggers are needy fruitcakes

Dear Al:
Forever me and my boyfriend always gave etch other space to do whatever we wanted, like I let him go sking with his buddies and he lets me go on trips with the girls, but for the first time he doesn't want me to do something. My boyfriend wont let me go to the Blog Parteeh this year. He says Bloggers are needy fruitcakes looking for attention, except for me since I don't have a blog.

Some of my favorite bloggers are going to the Blog Parteeh and I really want to go and meet etch and every one of them. How can I convince my boyfriend to let me go?
-- Shari, Philippines

Dear Shari:
Maybe if you etch him something he might let you go.

Personally I don't see the big deal about this blog party, but you are your own person, and if your non-blogging self wants to go, GO! It's a snowball's chance in hell, but if you manage to get in, say hello to my fellow fruitcakes, except for this guy on the right.

http://blogparteeh.com

Technorati: party, parteeh, blogparteeh07, needy, relationships, boyfriend, wants, fruitcakes, advice, blog, weblog, blogger, bloggers, column, solutions, everyday, problems, dear al

She doesn't love me any more.

Dear AL:
I'm a long time reader of yours and blog friend, and when I discovered you stopped blogging I almost died! Choked on my Cornflakes! Thankfully I have your old email address, so I hope you don't mind me asking you for help.

For the last few weeks my Boss has been ignoring me like I don't exist. We still talk business, but she doesn't rub my shoulders or pat my butt anymore. I miss that! I know to someone else this would be sexual harrassment, but this person is the girl of my dreams.

I didn't become ugly over night, so what gives?
-- Davis, Idiana

Yo Davis:
I don't know who the hell you are, but you must be ugly. Why else would she be giving you the cold shoulder?

She must have heard rumors about your looks, and to verify this she had her eyes checked which resulted in her first pair of glasses, then "Bam!" she disinfected her hands, never to touch your ass again!

Seriously, dude, she probably just wants to keep things professional in the office, so you better back off. Nobody likes needy people, specially if they're fugly.

Where the hell is Idiana?

Technorati: advice, blog, blogger, love, workplace, boss, manager, relationships, risky business, employee, needy

How do you deal with this kind of pain?

Dear Al:
I was in business with my family. Since I quit my family now excludes me and my family from "all" family get togethers, including Xmas parties, birthdays, etc... Hurt? More than words! I try not to let it get to me, but everyday it does. I have tried talking to my brother, but he says I don't want this to come between us as brother and sister, but he still goes to family functions knowing I am not invited, then ignores me for days. How do you deal with this kind of pain?? Please email me with your answer. -- Judith

Dear Judith:
I don't email my solutions, so I'm gona answer you here about your dumbass family, not to leave you hanging.

I hate to tell you this, but your family don't give a damn about you, just the dollars you helped bring in while you was working for them. They did you a favor by excluding you and your family, because now your children will grow up to be decent human beings, not letting money get in the way of family.

About your brother, give him the cold shoulder for a couple of months, and if he's still their bitch, exclude him with a present... a dog collar.

You're free as a bird, and you still have your family that loves you, so concentrate on them and exclude the greedy.

Technorati: advice, advice blog, advice blogger, advice column, counsel, recommendation, recommendations, opinion, opinions, column, solutions, problems, everyday problems, opinion, family matters, family business, personal problems, dumbasses

Were you good or bad this year?

Dear Al:

Were u good or bad this year? What do u think Santa will put in your
stockings?

Love,
Boo, Singapore, boochicky.blogspot.com

Dear Boo:
I was bad, but Santa better give me something if he knows what's good for him! If I find a single pebble in my stocking, he better pray I don't catch his ass next year, that's all I'm saying.

Hey, Someone nominated my blog for a Reddies Award for Red Hot Male Blogger 2006! It would be great if you all vote for me. I was just kidding about Santa. Really!

Visit RHSP blog and email your vote. I'll try to visit your blogs as soon as I can to kiss some ass. Shower people!