Dear Al:
How about this problem..:)
I am on the verge of telling my closest friend, who leads a straight life, that my dad is going to be sentenced for selling drugs in a few days.
I just wanted your opinion about it first...
yours sincerely,
--Jacqueline, Australia.
Dear Jacqueline:
He had it coming!
Seriously, if you're best of friends, then it shouldn't be a problem telling her, but if you two are the type of girls who just care about your image, her nose is gona go so high when she hears this news you'll see her boogers. I hope this helped!
I should stop thinking about him
Dear Al:I can't get over this guy colleague/friend I hooked up with one drunken night. He's this handsome jerk and I should stop thinking about him... should stop relating every love song lyric to him... I dont know how to be when I see him in lectures... on facebook...
-- Silly Girl
Dear Silly:Just be Yourself!
Even if you look like Vera De Milo, I'm sure he'll still accept you. You two hooked up one night!
Oh... forgot... you two were drunk.
He says it's for her own good
DearAL: Our 8 year old daughter is slightly over weight, but due to proper nutrition and exercise she's lost alot, but not enough to my husband. Almost everyday after work he yanks her from her little friends and makes her walk on a kids treadmill he brought a month ago. You wont believe how much she cries, but he says it's for her own good.
Al, we don't need this machine. Any way to convince him?
-- Amy, Oregon
Dear Amy:
No SEX! But if that doesn't work, break it. Take it outside and smash it on the pavement. Use a hammer if you have to. The treadmill, not his penis!
Walking on a treadmill is nothing compared to running, jumping, and bike riding. Your daughter needs to be outside getting fresh air and exercise playing with her friends, not walking on a treadmill like an old woman. You're doing a great job with your daughter. Do what you have to do so he doesn't screw up her life.
Britney Spears told me to F-off, but why?
Dear AL:I've been a Britney Spears fan forever, so you wont believe how excited I was when I physically bumped into her by accident at a club, but she pushed me back and yelled. I didn't realize at first what Britney said, but after a few minutes it sunk in. Britney shouted "Fuck-off bitch" as she pushed me away and walked off. I watched her videos, brought all her CD's, and been to almost every one of her concerts in town. You know how this makes me feel? What happened?
Wendy, LA
Dear Sucker:
People like you made this train wreck possible. Buying her CD's, watching her lip synch, while ignoring her insanity. This dumbass has been all over the news and you finally noticed something wrong? Wendy... boobala... wake up!
Here's a short recap for your little head:
* Britney Spears shows off crotch (it starts to talk)
* Paris Hilton fondles Britney's boobies (one pops)
* Britney shows off crotch again (Doesn't talk, but photographer throws up)
* Drunk Britney almost drops her son (K-Feb discovers his balls, talks deeper)
* Britney goes to rehab (No-Job-Fed takes custody of kids, feeds them chips)
* Britney Spears shaves head, attacks reporters car with an umbrella while shouting "I'm Gandhi!" (realizes mistake and states "I ment to say Kojak")
Still alive?
The apartment smells like shit!
Dear AL:My wife has a problem. It doesn't matter what she eats, she just farts nonstop! Doctors say there's nothing wrong with her, that it's just something I have to learn to live with. She so use to it she doesn't notice passing gas anymore, and when I bring it up she laughs. Al, the apartment smells like shit, any suggestions?
-- David, Toronto, Canada
Yo David:
If you're not too attached, you could leave her stinky ass, you know. Threaten her with divorce if she doesn't plug that hole up!
If you can't bring yourself to say it, go buy yourself a Bic. Either she farts in the bathroom, or you'll light her ass up! Easy!
Nobody should have to put up with that shit!
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