Possessive friends hate new friend with friends

Dear AL
i have a friends but when i know someone new and become friends they becomes closer 2 me than the other friends or her best friend and i feel so bad coz my friend looking 2 me and im thinking that she r annoyed so i decide not 2 know someone new if she or him have friends only if he havent friends then i can know him or her so i want soloution please
-- Beyonce, Egypt

Dear Beyonce
What?

Ok... You have friends. You also love the word friends since it's mentioned seven times in your run-on sentence. When you make new friends, your other friends become closer, or her best friend? Anyway, you feel bad cause' your friend (wasn't it friends?) looks at you like *WTF?*, making you think she (friend) is annoyed. You then decide not to make new friends if they have friends, but if a potential friend happens to have no friends (loser), then you can become friends, keeping your old friends happy and friendly.

Sounds like you hangout with bunch of bitches.

You need to talk to your old friends. Let them know you're not their property. Seeing others doesn't mean you're putting them on the back burner. You're still their friend, but they have to understand you need your space. Freedom to choose who you want to be friends with. If they refuse to accept this, give them the boot. Don't waste your time with possessive people, they'll drain you dry, making you lose your sense of self. Move on and make new friends who don't carry shackles. I hope this helped.

Kw's: needy, clingy, emotionally attached, selfish friends, kicked to the curb

Multiple deployments to Iraq... can't wait for him.

Dear AL:
There's this guy I wish would leave me alone, but at the same time I have feelings for him. We met when he came back from Iraq for R&R, went out a little, and then he proposed to me before he left. He's been back from Iraq, and it's like he never proposed, and sees me when he wants to. I've told him to leave me alone, which wasn't easy, but he tells me that's not what I really want and that he loves me. I can see he means it, his lips trimble when he says that, but he's not the same person I met months ago. He's going back to Iraq in a month, and I don't want to wait for someone who can't make up his mind while at the same time thinks he can read mine. Well, he is right... I do want him, but I feel like I'll be waiting for nothing if he's so distant now. It's driving me crazy!

Please, Al... I need some straightforward advice.
-- Sarah, Germany

Dear Sarah:
Sounds like he wants you, but is afraid to commit because of the Iraq war. Maybe he's afraid if you were to marry, you'll be filing for divorce shortly after due to his long deployment. Many military families have gone through this. Soldiers who have been on back-to-back combat deployments find it hard to intergrate back with their families due to the fear of or knowing of future deployments. They're still in war mode.

You two need to talk. Seriously talk. Don't just dump him because he hasn't given you the ring. And by chance you work things out and you both get married, don't start a family! Nothing is tougher than not being around when your child is born, missing their first birthday, and being looked at like a stranger when returning home. Take things slow until deployments are less frequent.

Whatever you decide to do, I wish you both the best.

Drunk girlfriend cheated with her old best friend. Is this tattered relationship worth saving?

Hey AL:
Ok... so let me try to make a long story short. Me and my girlfriend(not a fiancee OR wife) meet, have a serious relationship. Something like out of a romance novel in terms of the way we met and fell in love. I have a bad past of girlfriends cheating on me. But I tried my best to keep my paranoia in check. Her grandmother (aka her best friend) died when she was young. She doesn't know who her mother is. Her father is a pilled out veteran on disability. Her brother, the only other person close to her. Got arrested and is now serving 20 yrs. So she has extensive abandonment issues. After a few months, and a roommate rivalry, I move in with her and her dad. A month later we get our own place, everything still going good. Crazy in love, but have our problems. 13 days before our 1 yr she invites old friends over that are in town (Which never happens because she doesn't have many friends) and ends up getting PLASTERED and making out with her old best friend in our bathroom. HUGE ordeal as you can guess. Fighting, packing, fighting, crying, begging, said I was leaving and I didn't leave. The next months were hard because all trust was gone. Honestly I stayed because of the apartment and the connection my mother and family have grown with her. My mother loves her to death. And bills are easier with two paying them. But most of all I wanted so bad for things to get better and that I could move past it. But knowing how paranoid I am, the outlook wasn't good. So now, 5 months later, I'm struggling with constant paranoia and I treat her like crap cause I have so much pent-up frustration towards her. I don't restrict her or try to control her. She has all the freedom in the world. In fact, I more push her away. I distance myself from her. My mind is filled with the most outrageous cheating scenarios all the time and it has sent my blood pressure through the roof. I'm torn. I feel like I'm stuck here with her because she has no one but me. Plus she's made pity attempts at suicide trying to get me to stay. I feel her words are true, but she has too much shadiness surrounding her. I really do I love her with all my heart, but I'm just one step out of the door. Advice please, I'm losing my mind with paranoia. Is there a mental condition for cheating paranoia? It's only with cheating, I don't get paranoid with anything else. And is this tattered relationship even worth trying for?
-- Mr. Man, my state

Yo Man:
Personally, if this was a bi thing, I would give her a second chance if she had more feelings for me and was willing to share. :-) Now if the person she kissed was a dude, that's fucked up, but she was wasted.

If you love her with all your heart and you believe her when she states her love for you, I would give her a second chance on the condition that she never drinks or talks to that guy again, or that girl if you're not interested in threesomes. She's in control when she's sober, so you have nothing to be paranoid about, specially since she's falling all over herself for you to stay. Stop treating her like shit, think of the good times you've had, and relax. Your relationship is salvageable if you stop being an ass. How many different ways does she have to say sorry for you to believe she's SORRY and will not cheat again? Give the girl a break, and your nerves, and let it go. It will haunt you of what could've been if you break up, specially since you love her. Believe me, you don't want to go through that.

KW's: excessive anxiety, fear, irrational, delusional, possible schizo (You, Man, not her)

Where can I watch Paris Hilton's new sex tape?

Dear AL:
Due to the restrictions at my fraternity, our internet access is carefully filtered to block porn. Do you know of any place online where I can watch Paris Hilton's new sex tape? I'm a huge fan of hers! It can be partially censored. I'll just use my imagination to fill in the blanks. Thanks!
-- Matt, amongst religious nuts

Yo Matt:
You're in luck! I found Paris Hilton's sex tape on YouTube. The only problem, it's extremely censored. Hope you have a good imagination. Enjoy!


KW's: huge fan, possible virgin, video

My employee spreads lies about coworkers

Dear AL:
I have this employee (relative) that does nothing but complain. Since her fear of customers and boredom, she spreads lies about her coworkers, trying to prevent them from doing their jobs so they stay by her side. What can I tell her to straighten her out?
-- Diana, Texas

Dear Diana:
Tell her to STFU!

From the sounds of it, she's probably older than dirt, and it's no ones fault she can't handle the job. Tell her to get with the program or you will give her walking papers. If she continues, without hesitation, put her out to pasture! Be strong or you will lose good workers because her. Screw it if it's your mother!

KW's: hostile work environment