Looking For A Better Dirty Half!

Darling Dearest Al:
I'm 21. I feel like my biological clock is telling me that it's time to start seriously looking for a "better half". The problem is, the girls in my immediate social circle are not at all interesting to me. I'm at a Theological school you see, and most of the girls are BORING.

Now, I myself am a fairly devout Christian, and hope to find a Christian girl... but not too nice, if you take my meaning. Really, they are boring and cheesy here. I want a girl that can be just a touch rude and nasty with me. I don't know if they're repressed from an overly conservative up-bringing or if they were born that way, but man... anyway, it's rough. I'm praying that God will send a dirty girl my way soon.

Don't actually know what my problem is, but you seem like a helpful guy.
-- ninjaaron, http://ninjasgonewildincph.blogspot.com

Dear ninjaaron:
I bet there are a few closet cases at your school who seem to be boring, but are in need of a freak like you! Look for strategically placed piercings, tongues, eyebrows, bottom lips, but steer clear of the pierced cheeks! Second, every school has their share of day dreamers, be on the look at for these space cadets! And Last, a sure sign of the dirtiest of dirty girls are the ones that stink. She'll rock your world, that's if you don't faint from lack of fresh air! I hope this helped!

How To Show An Icon Next To Your Blogs URL In The Address Bar!

Dear Al:
I have a problem. I am jealous. How did you get the little picture up by your url of your blog? I want a picture by mine when some clicks on my blog.

Thanks! -- Linda, http://beadinggalinms.blogspot.com

Dear Linda:
I said hockus pockus, and like magic, it appeared! Weird huh?

What I did was create an jpeg icon about 16x16 , then I uploaded the jpeg icon to a new post, and copied it's URL: http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1787/2191/1600/dralicon.jpg You don't have to publish the post, because once you upload an image, it's in your blogger account if you use it or not.

I then pasted my jpeg icons URL into this code:
<link rel="shortcut icon" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1787/2191/1600/dralicon.jpg" />

then I added the code to my blogs template underneath the <head> tag


Published the template, and that's it!

Note: Readers can't see the icon next to the URL in the address bar if they're using the Internet Explorer. So far I know it works for Firefox, but you might be able to see the icon if you also use Opera, or Safari, but I'm not sure.

I Am A Not So Socialable Girl.

Dear Al:
I don't get along well with some of my classmates. I recently moved to the States in hopes of achieving my dream but I can't seem to make any good friends prior my journey in studies. I have tried to be more social with them as well as talking to them and I have tried to be their friend but they just won't accept me on a whole. Is it my personality? Is it the way I carry myself in front of them? Is there any way of knowing what they really want from me or expect from me? Why is it so hard for me to be accepted into any social groups! Do you have any suggestions on how I can make friends who will accept and like me for who I am?

Thank you for your time and I look forward to what advice you got for me. =) Thank you!
-- Flustered, USA

Dear Flustered:
Make yourself socialable, drink heavy!

A previous writer had a similar problem, hopefully she followed my advice and not wasting away with work, or watching reruns of Star Trek! Like I told her, get involved with school and community activities, sports, and special interest activities.

Good luck, Flustered! I was kidding about drinking.

Coming in like El Niño! by Jeremy Lavine



Dear Al:
Your apology made me feel all warm inside, like a fire burning, or heartburn. Anyway, I'm writing to you because I need some advice.
I wrote this essay called "Coming in like El Niño" not long ago, and I was wondering if I could use the same essay in another class I'm taking now, or do I have to write a new one like coming in like a hurricane?

So what do you think, Al?
Looking forward to your advice!
-- Jeremy Lavine, www.jeremylavine.blogspot.com

Dear Jeremy:
I bet you don't have any Spanish friends, am I right?

I think you should write a new essay like "Coming in like an asteroid!", because it also kills people and burns down trees! Think about it!

Kw's: essays, Lightning, author, observation, prose, writing, writer

I'm sorry, Confused Gurl!

I created my blog to help people out with their problems, not to slam them for their grammar and spelling. Even I, Al the great, makes mistakes every once in a while.

Here are a few that some of my readers caught:

Chuck, the toothless one, pointed out my mispelling of the word available. I spelled it availbale by mistake due to typing too fast! You believe me right?

Anonymous discovered this mistake "Talk to the dumbass, let her know how you feel, but if she doesn't changed, dump the moron!" That mistake happened because I changed the sentence, forgeting to correct the spelling to change to coincide with the new sentence. I'm serious people!

Dawn (aka Webmiztris) thought I was making fun of the Dormitory Boys 'was' instead of 'were' usage in a sentence I wrote to them, when it was really an honest mistake. I played it off like I was just kidding around, when I wasn't. I know... I'm bad!

Anyway, I wont be critizing anyone for mistakes in their writing anymore, unless it's confusing.

Once again, Confused Gurl, I'm sorry! So, are you still hanging out with that moron?