Falling in love, but life sucks!

Dear AL:
I've been reading your blog for quite a long while now and it sometimes makes my day to read the funny, crazy advice you dish. (but it also warms my heart!)

I think I'm falling in love with my college professor. I don't know what to do, I've tried to shelve this feeling for so long now, but it still doesn't go away. I do not dare tell it to anybody because I know they are going to frown at me and disapprove. What should I do?

Life sux too, because everything is so stiff and horrible around here. I can't express myself, can't laugh, can't really be who I am, and who I want to be. Oh Al, I feel so down just thinking about this "confinement" I'm in, where the people around me limit me because my thinking differs from theirs and I am unable to voice out my thoughts and opinions. They want me to be who they expect me to be. :(
-- Alexandra, Asia

Dear Alexandra:
Fuck 'em! Not your friends, your teacher. But if he's that dude above, you have problems.

Ok, seriously, you're probably not the only one who has fallen in love with your professor, and the last thing you need is someone finding out, specially the others who are also interested in him. They will announce this revelation to the world out of jealousy, guaranteed, to ruin your reputation. One sure fire way to get him off your mind, talk shit about the others.

If you're not comfortable where your at, move. Some people would just say fuck those assholes, just be yourself... but I know how it is when people already see you in one way, they wont change their way of thinking no matter how many times you show them different.

Move... It's beats kicking them in the balls.

Wha da diforinse batween StudiVZ an Facebook?

Dear AL:
Im ah farmor in Kazakhstan, butt I wood like to hab ah presents on da internets.
I wah tinking eeber joyning StudiVZ or Facebook, butt Im knot ah students or evor gointa be ah students. So witch one shood ah joyn? Wha da diforinse batween StudiVZ an Facebook?
Im knot ah students, okay.
-- Nobat, Kazakhstan

Dear Nobat:
Meh tink you donut hab a chants to joyn StudiVZ or Facebook becorse you knot ah students or evor gointa beh ah students, okay.
Geht yor arse bak in da feelds!

Technorati: Studivz, Zune, Myspace, Second Life

My name is Charlie, and I'm an alcoholic.

Dear AL:
My name is Charlie, and I'm an alcoholic. I'm a 28 year old woman, who use to be a man. I'm not sure what caused me to drink, peer pressure, my sex change operation, but I've been sober for over 4 months, and I never been happier in my life.

I'm mean seriously, I don't miss drinking. I thank God everyday for Alcoholics Anonymous, because of them I'm free of this disease.
-- Charlie, Reston, Virginia

Yo Charlie:
Wrong site, dude... Wrong site.

It's obvious you're scared that you might start drinking again since you wrote me, but it sounds like you're doing great because of your desire to quit. You're gona be ok!

Technorati: Alcoholic, Alcoholics Anonymous, Boing Boing

My boyfriends mom is such a pain!

Dear AL:
Me and my boyfriend can never be left in piece. His Mom is always in our hair! She bitches about everything, the way we're dressed, us playing loud music, and my boyfriends bedroom. What is it to her that his room is a little messy? It's not like it smells or something, just a few things here and there. You understand, right?

My boyfriends mom is such a pain! No way we're gona change!
-- Chrissy, Heidelberg, Germany

Dear Chrissy:
You go with your bad selves!

I'm throwing in the towel! Life sucks!

Dear AL:
I'm not sure what's wrong with me. I just feel like life is not worth living anymore. Everything seems to be going wrong.
My boyfriend broke up with me, my family hates me, my only friend moved away, I lost my job, and now I'm gona lose my home because I can't pay the rent! I don't want to move back home because my parents are alcoholics, and my step dad touches me!
I've have depression for a few years now, and I can't bare any of this anymore. I'm throwing in the towel! Life sucks!

Al, before I go, can you make me laugh? I haven't done that in a long time. Just please no advice.

I'm still waiting on your blog.
-- Kate, Baton Rouge, LA

Dear Kate:
I know how you feel, and I'm gona try to decribe what I went through as humorous as I possibly can. No refund if it sucks, Alright!

I was... ah... one time... um... at band camp...

Never thought I would ever be lost for words.
Kate, you ruined my groove! Rot in hell!