What the fark is up with Fark?

Dear Al:
I've been a member of Fark.com forever, and not one of my submitted articles ever made it on their front page! One time after I submitted an article, it got posted with the same tagline by someone else! Now I believe it's possible for two people to come up with the same idea, but my tagline was so off the wall, it's impossible someone could have thought of the same thing! Someone at Fark stole my tagline to take credit for my submitted article! I thought about writting Fark to complain, but after doing some research online about previous members with problems, I decided not to waste my time. What the Fark is up with Fark.com?
-- Ex-Fark Fan, Cyberspace

Dear Ex-Fark Fan:
Need a hanky?

What's the big deal that Fark didn't post this article under your user name? What would you have gotten out of it if the link to an article you found on the internet was posted by you on Fark? A boner? I'm sure nobody stole your article tagline (Title), but if they did, it wont be easy to prove. All submissions become the property of Fark.com.
Read their Terms of Service, Joker!

Have a nice day!

Hav A Pimple Probem!

DearAl:
I hav a big pimple on ma lip! I feld it comin in a coupel of days ago but did nart dink much bout it til ma wife notised it an sed "O my God I wana pop it!", an she did an it hert like a bich! Ma wife now has one on her lip, an it is biger dan minds! Coud it be comin frum da pigs feet we eat evory now an den? Apresheate yor help!
-- Ray, Georgia

Dear Ray:
I am nart shore, butt it souns like you boof mite hav herpeas, jus wonda how you caut it befor you gav it to yor wife? You did nart cach it frum da pigs feet, maybee frum trinkin frum sumone elsis trink. I recomens you boof see a doktor as soon as posibowl, an visit da RIF site.

Sorree it took me so lang to rite bac, hope I am nart to layt!

Still here!

Sorry for the disappearance, been working the early shift for the last two weeks, 5:45 AM to 1:45 PM, so I've been hitting the sack early. After work it's impossible to write since I'm busy with my kids, plus if I touch my computer during the day my wife will kill me! I'm not whooped, alright!

Did I miss anything while I was gone? Answer me, dammit!

I'll stop by your blogs later to grace you with my presence!

She Wouldn't Listen!

Dear Al:
For years I've been teaching my daughter right from wrong, that some boys just want only one thing, but she wouldn't listen.
My teenage daughter turned into every boys dream, a plaything with accessories.
She had a different boyfriend almost every other month for over 3 years, but none for the last 6 months since she's pregnant with a baby girl.

AL, my daughter told me to write you, do you have any advice?
-- Dawn, Paris, France

Dear Easy:
Do you know who the father is? Of course you do! It was Frédéric, Fabio, Leon, Serge, Pierre, and the rest of France!

Don't start that crap again with dating the city of Paris right after your daughter is born! Learn how to be alone until the right guy comes along, unless you prefer being their plaything, then more power to you, and babies!

Happy Easter People! Gmail anyone?

I know I've been a bit of a ghost on most of your blogs, but that's because of all the projects I've got going on, staying up late working, and feeling tired all the time. How do you all do it?

Anyway, I want to wish you all a Happy Easter, and to let you know I have 13 Gmail invites! If you're on my blogroll, and want your very own Gmail account, send me a message in the form in my sidebar with your current email address.

What's this, you already have a Gmail account? Hey! Don't get loud with me! I'm trying to do something nice here, so back-off! Sheesh!

If you want a Gmail account, write! Now go eat some eggs! :)