How do you deal with this kind of pain?

Dear Al:
I was in business with my family. Since I quit my family now excludes me and my family from "all" family get togethers, including Xmas parties, birthdays, etc... Hurt? More than words! I try not to let it get to me, but everyday it does. I have tried talking to my brother, but he says I don't want this to come between us as brother and sister, but he still goes to family functions knowing I am not invited, then ignores me for days. How do you deal with this kind of pain?? Please email me with your answer. -- Judith

Dear Judith:
I don't email my solutions, so I'm gona answer you here about your dumbass family, not to leave you hanging.

I hate to tell you this, but your family don't give a damn about you, just the dollars you helped bring in while you was working for them. They did you a favor by excluding you and your family, because now your children will grow up to be decent human beings, not letting money get in the way of family.

About your brother, give him the cold shoulder for a couple of months, and if he's still their bitch, exclude him with a present... a dog collar.

You're free as a bird, and you still have your family that loves you, so concentrate on them and exclude the greedy.

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Were you good or bad this year?

Dear Al:

Were u good or bad this year? What do u think Santa will put in your
stockings?

Love,
Boo, Singapore, boochicky.blogspot.com

Dear Boo:
I was bad, but Santa better give me something if he knows what's good for him! If I find a single pebble in my stocking, he better pray I don't catch his ass next year, that's all I'm saying.

Hey, Someone nominated my blog for a Reddies Award for Red Hot Male Blogger 2006! It would be great if you all vote for me. I was just kidding about Santa. Really!

Visit RHSP blog and email your vote. I'll try to visit your blogs as soon as I can to kiss some ass. Shower people!

Like many a hapless man he can't see her games

DearAL:
My boyfriend insists on seeing his ex-girlfriend socially still which i find hard to deal with. am i being a psychotic jealous bint, or is it reasonable to ask then to stop meeitng. Btw-i have a suspision she is being manipulative and like many a hapless man he can't see her games.

Many thanks,
-- Baire, England

Dear Baire:
Sounds more like you can't see through his games, and if you're allowing them to meeit, you are a psychotic bint!

now if they became friends after their breakup, months before meeting you, then i wouldn't be suspisious about their friendship unless he spends more time with her than with you. but if you two started dating soon after they broke-up, or if you was the reason for their breakup, then you have a problem.

since this is driving you crazy, tell him he has a choice, either you or her. if he wont drop his friendship, break it off with him, then use your free time wisely so the next person you email wont make fun of your writing. i hope this helped!

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A friend thinks I should pull a Britney Spears

Dear AL:
First I have to say, I really enjoy reading your blog.
I'm a known actress, but not on the scale my manager thinks I have the potential to become. I played in a few movies, episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and other TV series. Anyway, a friend of mine thinks I should pull a Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan upskirt, by letting photographers catch me with no underwear underneath a miniskirt. She keeps telling to do this, and it's getting on my nerves. My friend who's an unknown actress is the best, but how can I tell her that I'm not gona pull a pathetic stunt like that?
-- Your California Fan

Dear Fan:
Giving away clues? Do you want me to tell my readers who I think you are, or pretending to be? Get a life! But if you're that actress... Where were you when I went to band camp? :P

Anyway, tell your friend that showing off your cooch will just justify those morons thinking that the only thing females have worth anything is their vagina. You're obviously very intelligent for making it as far as you did in the entertainment industry. If she continues bugging you to do this, remind the genius where she stands in the food chain compared to you, then throw her a biscuit. Hope this helped!

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I Don't Love Him Anymore

Dear AL:
I'm so tired. I loved him once and now no more. I wanna break with him but I know he loves me very much. He will be very sad if he knows that I don't love him anymore. What can I do to tell him and he wont be hurt? What can I do?
-- Jeanie, Asia

Dear Jeanie:
There's really no easy way around this. You have to tell him that you want to break up, that you don't love him anymore, and why. The longer you wait, the worse it's gona get. It's better to get it over with so both of you can go on with your lives.

Ignore the picture above, he probably wont be that shocked, but if he is... RUN!