I want my two dollars!

Dear AL:
How do you ask for a personnal loan back without sounding mean or hurting the indivdual? -- Mary, AZ

Dear Mary:
"Without sounding mean or hurting the individual?"
Wish you was my next door neighbor, I need a new car!

Look, just ask for your money back. I assume you gave this person this money with the understanding you'll get paid back, and if this person drags their butt when you ask for it, kick their ass! (not physically)

I gave this one fat piece of shit money to go see his mom and enough to take care of her since she just got into a car accident, but dumbo spent it on a prostitute! You wont believe how far my foot was up blimps ass to get it back, but tubby skipped town to another state since I wasn't the only one he suckered. I hear porkchop is now sucking his food through a straw since he finally screwed with the wrong person. Lardass got off easy!

Before you lose it, I'm a fatass too, just not as big as this joker. Remember, violence never solves anything, you just lose even more while serving time, but I'm sure you wont touch this bitches ass.

Excuse me for above, how do I know this persons female?
It's probably a prick!

My wife's driving scares me

Hey AL:
Ever drove with a woman who takes tight turns around corners and end up facing the opposite flow of traffic, make a U-turn on a fuckin' Highway, follow other cars too close, or every other month destroy a side mirror exiting a garage? I'm married to one of those geniuses! I talked to her yesterday like many times before about going to a driving school, but she wont do it. Today she crashed into a woman's shopping cart killing all her vegetables! What's it gona take for her to understand that she can't drive for shit?
-- Dave, Idaho

Yo Dave:
This!

Any gates where you're at?

He's never interested in having sex

Dear AL:
I have a typical problem and unable to decide myself...I am from India, I had many problems with my first husband as he was a big psycho so ended up the relation after 2 years, later I took some break and got married, and I am so upset with my fate that I again failed in my second marriage.....since we got married he is never interested in having sex...I dont understand whats his problem but he enjoys all bulshit on internet...I one day asked him not to cheat me anymore and if he open ups problems can be solved together by visting pshycian, he is not ready to accept and have become wild at me...I am not happy with whats going on...the thought that I failed again is making me very depressed....can you help me please!
-- Nagma

Dear Nagma:
Maybe your husband can't get it up. Years of inactivity, just sitting behind his computer probably made him Impotent, or he's an asshole.

If you ment that he physically hurt you when you stated wild above, it's time to get a divorce. Why stay with someone who loves his computer more than you? He doesn't want help and doesn't respect you. Being alone is not bad compared to being with someone who makes you feel alone. Many people just want to get married so they wont be alone which is the worse mistake they can make. If there is no love in a marriage it's sure to fail, sometimes even after both parties agree to marriage counseling. When you're not looking for love, respecting yourself and enjoying life, love will find you. Nagma, take care of yourself and leave this loser ASAP! Life is too short! Make yourself happy!

Want your opinion about it first.

Dear Al:
How about this problem..:)

I am on the verge of telling my closest friend, who leads a straight life, that my dad is going to be sentenced for selling drugs in a few days.

I just wanted your opinion about it first...

yours sincerely,
--Jacqueline, Australia.

Dear Jacqueline:
He had it coming!

Seriously, if you're best of friends, then it shouldn't be a problem telling her, but if you two are the type of girls who just care about your image, her nose is gona go so high when she hears this news you'll see her boogers. I hope this helped!

I should stop thinking about him

Dear Al:
I can't get over this guy colleague/friend I hooked up with one drunken night. He's this handsome jerk and I should stop thinking about him... should stop relating every love song lyric to him... I dont know how to be when I see him in lectures... on facebook...
-- Silly Girl

Dear Silly:
Just be Yourself!

Even if you look like Vera De Milo, I'm sure he'll still accept you. You two hooked up one night!

Oh... forgot... you two were drunk.