My husband's best friend's affair... no where to go

Dear AL:
I moved in with my best friend because my husband admitted to an affair. Today my best friend admitted to having an affair with my husband! I can't believe it! She said she's sorry and what sucks is that I have no where to go. My parents live on the other side of the planet. She said I can stay with her but I want to scratch her eyes out! I lost all feeling for both of them, but I need a place to stay. What can I do? I want to trash his car so bad. I still have his spare keys!
-- Gia, Pennsylvania

Dear Gia:
Don't trash his car! Maybe squish grilled cheese under his seats, but don't thrash his car.

Look, he cheated, so go home and kick his ass out! You shouldn't be the one to move. I know it wont be easy staying at a place you shared with your husband... just deal with it until you find yourself another place. Longest you'll be in jail is a couple of days if you damage his car, then where are you going to live?

My Husbands affair with best friend. We have 2 children!

Dear AL:
My husband had an affair with my best friend. He says he didn't sleep with her, but he wont stop communicating with her. We have 2 children! HELP!
-- Cassie --

Dear Cassie:
I don't know of an affair where sex wasn't involved, that's unless numbnuts really has numb nuts, then he might be telling the truth. If you just want to save your marriage because of your two children, then it sounds like you have a business relationship, which is probably why he cheated. I'm not saying it's your fault. It takes two to make a marriage work, or not.

You can try marriage counseling, but if he doesn't want to try that, talk to him. Find out what's lacking in your relationship that he seems to be getting from your girlfriend, and not just sex. If he doesn't want to talk about it, then do what's best for your children... divorce. Don't put your kids through an unhappy marriage. It will effect them when they're adults.

Kw's: adultery, adultry, affair, affairs, best friend, cheater, cheating spouse, children, infidelity, marriage, unfaithful

My Husband's affair with a girl at the gym

Dear AL:
My Christmas present for 2008 was learning of an affair my husband was having with a girl at the gym. He continued the affair by purchasing "pay as you go" phones to eliminate any phone records - I found his phone. He says he has discontinued the affair but continues to go to the same gym, at the same time she goes, and refuses to change. There are other alternatives and times for him to go.

Am I making too much of this, or should I follow my gut instinct and file for divorce.
--Devastated and Pissed in NY

Dear Devastated:
You're not making enough of this... divorce his sorry ass. If he discontinued this affair, why doesn't he go to a different gym to give you peace of mind? Hell, he might do just that when you threaten him with a divorce, but who's to say she wont follow him there to continue their workout? Do you really want to deal with this, not knowing if he's being faithful? Always having this on the back of your mind "Is he telling me the truth, or spotting her?" Do yourself a favor and save yourself the stress. Divorce him! If he doesn't care about your feelings now, he will continue to play with your head, guaranteed.

Life is too short and may become shorter if he infects you with Aids. Think about that. Take care of yourself.

Kw's: adultery, adultry, affair, affairs, cheater, cheating spouse, infidelity, marriage, unfaithful

Best friend's husband had an affair with my husband

Dear AL:
This is not easy, but i can't keep this bottled in. Last night i found out that my husband has been having an affair with my best friend's husband. MY BEST FRIEND'S HUSBAND! I discovered this when i returned home early last Friday from a girl's night out. When i saw my husband wasn't in the living room, i heard the shower going, so i went to see him. When i pulled the curtain open, i saw my best friend's husband instead. After we both said hi, i asked him what he was doing here, and he said he was taking a shower. I then walked over to my bedroom since i heard our Wii playing, and as soon as i walked in my husband screamed. He screamed like a little girl! I then asked him what's going on and he started to cry, giving no excuses. We haven't talked since that day.

I then put 2 and 2 together, from his slightly fruity cologne he started wearing last summer, the tiny heart tattoo on his butt which i wouldn't have never known existed if he hadn't slipped on the bathroom floor. And now the shower and his scream.

When we married 3 years ago, he was straight! At least i thought he was. How could this have happened?
- Mariam

Dear Mariam:
They must have watched Brokeback Mountain.

I would recommend marriage counseling, but since he's morphed into this other guys bitch, it would be a waste of time. He probably had these feelings before you met, but due to his upbringing, he couldn't be himself, so he needed a front. You. It could have been Brokeback Mountain like, and from what you wrote above, he was probably the character who initiated this affair. He wasn't Heath Ledger!

I know this hurts, but you have to divorce your husband. Don't waste your time with this relationship. Take care of yourself.

Out of curiousity, how couldn't you notice the tattoo on his butt?

Note: The above image "Brokeback Mountain Sims" is by fanseelamb.
http://www.wonderlandblog.com/wonderland/

Kw's: adultery, adultry, affair, affairs, best friend, cheater, cheating spouse, infidelity, marriage, unfaithful

Husband text girl 3000 times, 45 a day.

Dear AL:
My husband and I got married in January after ten years together and two kids. We were part of a group of friends and he got close to a female in the group which I didn't like. He told me I was being silly. End of August I proved he had been texting and calling her for months - over 3000 text sent - 45 a day average. I threw him out. Was pregnant with number three. She swans around like she done nothing wrong. Drives me mad. Sick of both of them. What to do?
-- kiwimummy, London

Dear kiwimummy:
You did the right thing kicking numb nuts to the curb, just make sure he takes care of his responsibility towards your children.

About the biatch your husband's been text messaging, does she still hang out with your other friends, which is why you still see her around?
Did they know this was going on behind your back? Were they clueless? Maybe you should talk to your friends, minus the textards, to weed out the traitors.

Update: I found out more about who this BIATCH is, just too bad you didn't make copies of your husbands online phone records to send to that girls husband as a Christmas present, but you can still tell him verbally, as well as the other moms at the school. Just don't mess with her husband, even if he insists to get back at her. He might be carrying something she gave him from another textard.

Kw's: adultery, adultry, affair, affairs, cheater, cheating spouse, infidelity, marriage, unfaithful

Best friend had an affair with my husband

Dear AL:
Last week my best friend told me that she's been having an affair with my husband for over 3 months. I've asked her why she did this, and she said she was stupid, but wished it never happened because my husband wont leave her alone. Not because she betrayed our friendship, felt bad, or was afraid she would get caught. Asshole wouldn't leave this bitch alone, so she called it quits. She then said sorry, and asked if I could tell him to leave her alone and if I want to go clubbing with her. I was speachless. It's like, hey, I've been fucking your man, you want to help me find more? I just walked away.

The same day after throwing my husband out with the help of my brothers, I bumped into my exfriend at a grocery store, and she told me she will pick me up Friday to go out, so be ready. I was so enraged, when she wasn't looking, I hit her with a bunch of bananas. Should have hit her with the green ones!

She calls me almost everyday trying to appologize for what she done, but I just can't talk. I've destroyed one of my phones because of her. My other friends are helping me through this, just wish this traitor leave me alone. What can I do to get her off my back?
-- Lost for words, Canada

Dear Lost:
You need to speak up. Tell this beotch she can shove her friendship, and if that doesn't work, just keep giving her the finger. Beats attacking her with bananas and other groceries. Think of the money you save.

Kw's: adultery, adultry, affair, affairs, cheater, cheating spouse, infidelity, marriage, unfaithful

She cheated, but says I'm being unreasonable

Dear AL:
So I found out my wife was having an affair a couple of months ago and I really do not think she understands the impact this has had on me. She says she is sorry and she says she understands but here is a perfect example of why I don't feel she does. I have tried to explain to her how I feel but she says I am being unreasonable. One of us seems to be suffering from a little bit of cognitive dissonance but I am just not too sure if it is her or me.

We live in a pretty small town and about 10 minutes away is another town which is on the water and very popular, touristy, etc. We used to go there to take the dogs for walks in nice weather, for dinner every few months, in fact I proposed to her on the downtown docks on 4th of July about 5 years ago. Well I found out recently that she had been having an affair and it was with a police officer for that small city. She wants to go there for this years 4th of july and I explained to her that I was not necessarly comfortable with this because I do not want us to run into this person. The fact is I wouldn't even know if I were standing next to him and I am sure I would wonder if "that is the guy" with every police office I saw. She has lied to me telling me he no longer works there, which he does. She mentioned that she thinks it is a small chance of running into him, I disagree, it is the 4th of July so I am sure that all will be working. She threw at me that "this is where we got engaged, do you mean we can never go there again"

I don't think she understand how I feel about any of this, especially considering this is where we got engaged! She is making me feel like the bad guy and that I am being ridiculous. She was very upset with me when I tried to explain to her that "I didn't think I felt comfortable going downtown this 4th of July" or really any time for that matter right now.

Am I really being out of line here?
-- Hurt, US

Dear Hurt:
You're not out of line, your cheating wife is, and I hate to break this to ya, she'll probably cheat again, that's if she hasn't hooked up with that towns police force already. Noticed any cuff marks?

Look, who knows if she's still a ho. Just remember, she lied to ya, and doesn't seem to care about your feelings about her adultress past, just what she wants. Tell her again about how you feel, but if she keeps insisting on that town, take her up on it and see how many times her eyes wonder, like she's searching for a badge. If so, it's time to let her go. Don't waste another 5 years of your life with a girl who's interested in someone else. You can do better!

Relationship counseling has been successful in cases of marital infidelity. Bring this up and see if she would like to try it, but if she loses her mind, move on! It will hurt, but not as bad if she brings home Herpes.

Kw's: adultery, adultry, affair, affairs, cheater, cheating spouse, infidelity, marriage, unfaithful

Had an affair with my best friend's husband

Dear AL:
I had an affair with my best friend's husband two weeks ago, which I'm very sorry about. The way it happened, my best friend Dawn gave me a call and told me she was sick, and asked if I could go to her husbands hangout to keep an eye on him. I did her this favor, and found him playing pool with his friends at this place. He wasn't doing anything wrong when I found him, but since I drank so much, he talked me into slow dancing, and the next thing I know we're kissing. Somehow he ended up at my place and we had sex!

Since then he calls me almost everyday, asking when he could see me again. This past weekend I stayed at a girlfriends house out of fear he would stop by. And earlier today he called, but I let my answering machine pickup while on speaker. He said he loves me!

Al, how do I get out of this? I want to tell my best friend, but I keep wimping out.
-- In Trouble, Canada

Dear Trouble:
Somehow he ended up at your place to have sex? Don't you hate it when that happens?

Look, stop dragging this out, and tell your best friend! She's gona find out sooner or later, specially if her husband keeps calling you. He will slip up guaranteed, or probably tell your best friend that he loves you. And somehow her fist is gona end up in your face. That happens too you know.

Kw's: adultery, adultry, affair, affairs, cheater, cheating spouse, infidelity, marriage, unfaithful

Religious Freak in My Families Business!

Yo AL:
There's this religious fanatic living next door that's always in my families business.
She's watches us like a hawk, quotes the Bible to us almost everyday, and gives us dirty looks. A few days ago she thought I was having an affair when she saw me with my sister.
She sneaked into our house, saw us and said "You're both gona burn in hell!"

Al, what can I tell this nut to get her off our backs?
-- Brian, Kentucky

Yo Brian:
Fuck off bitch! Not you... her!

On second thought, don't tell her that. She might pull a Carrie's mom on your ass!

Get a restraining order agains't her, and when you catch her staring, moon her!

My Husband and the Babsitter

Dear Al:
I am married to my husband for over 7 years, and we never had any problems up until now. Shortly after we hired our neighbors 20 year old daughter to babsit our two children, I caught her performing oral sex on my husband! I immediately fired her and told my husband that he has 3 days to find a new place! He then told me he was sorry and asked for my forgiveness, so I gave him a second chance, and he rehired our neighbors daughter to babsit again.

Did I do the right thing?
-- Confused, Tennessee


Dear Confused:
Babsit? Ok readers, I'm gona let this mistake slide, but it would've been good!

Anyway, if I was in your shoes, I would have kicked his ass to the curb from the start! And if he begs to come back, I would give him the option to walk and quack like a duck for 3 hours everyday, up and down the neighborhood for a whole week, or divorce! I made a fool of myself one time, and he can too!

Your husband is not sorry for what he did, or that tramp wouldn't be in your house! Fire her ass again, tell him to pull his head out of his ass, and if he starts bitching, you know what to do! Good luck!