Hav A Pimple Probem!

DearAl:
I hav a big pimple on ma lip! I feld it comin in a coupel of days ago but did nart dink much bout it til ma wife notised it an sed "O my God I wana pop it!", an she did an it hert like a bich! Ma wife now has one on her lip, an it is biger dan minds! Coud it be comin frum da pigs feet we eat evory now an den? Apresheate yor help!
-- Ray, Georgia

Dear Ray:
I am nart shore, butt it souns like you boof mite hav herpeas, jus wonda how you caut it befor you gav it to yor wife? You did nart cach it frum da pigs feet, maybee frum trinkin frum sumone elsis trink. I recomens you boof see a doktor as soon as posibowl, an visit da RIF site.

Sorree it took me so lang to rite bac, hope I am nart to layt!

Still here!

Sorry for the disappearance, been working the early shift for the last two weeks, 5:45 AM to 1:45 PM, so I've been hitting the sack early. After work it's impossible to write since I'm busy with my kids, plus if I touch my computer during the day my wife will kill me! I'm not whooped, alright!

Did I miss anything while I was gone? Answer me, dammit!

I'll stop by your blogs later to grace you with my presence!

She Wouldn't Listen!

Dear Al:
For years I've been teaching my daughter right from wrong, that some boys just want only one thing, but she wouldn't listen.
My teenage daughter turned into every boys dream, a plaything with accessories.
She had a different boyfriend almost every other month for over 3 years, but none for the last 6 months since she's pregnant with a baby girl.

AL, my daughter told me to write you, do you have any advice?
-- Dawn, Paris, France

Dear Easy:
Do you know who the father is? Of course you do! It was Frédéric, Fabio, Leon, Serge, Pierre, and the rest of France!

Don't start that crap again with dating the city of Paris right after your daughter is born! Learn how to be alone until the right guy comes along, unless you prefer being their plaything, then more power to you, and babies!

Happy Easter People! Gmail anyone?

I know I've been a bit of a ghost on most of your blogs, but that's because of all the projects I've got going on, staying up late working, and feeling tired all the time. How do you all do it?

Anyway, I want to wish you all a Happy Easter, and to let you know I have 13 Gmail invites! If you're on my blogroll, and want your very own Gmail account, send me a message in the form in my sidebar with your current email address.

What's this, you already have a Gmail account? Hey! Don't get loud with me! I'm trying to do something nice here, so back-off! Sheesh!

If you want a Gmail account, write! Now go eat some eggs! :)

Love of my life is not listening to me!

Dear Al:
I'm in love! I met this incredibly awesome beautiful girl that rocks my world! Her name is Katie! Since Katie came into my life, something extraordinary magnificent has happened to me that I can't restrain myself since I'm so happy! I made a fool out of myself not long ago while I was jumping on a friends couch laughing manically "I'm in love! I'm in love!", but that's ok. I'm really happy because Katie is an extraordinary woman! My friends are happy for me, people I know, my mom and my whole family are happy for me! But I have a little problem, not that I'm saying I'm not happy, because I am since I love Katie so much! Katie is starting to develop pimples on her face, but they'e not gross yet, just it doesn't look good. Katie wants to start using medicated acne pads for her face, which I'm totally agains't! Those acne pads introduces chemicals to the body which are harmful, because I know since I've done the research. I explained to Katie that all she has to do to get rid of the pimples is to take vitamins and exercise, but she insists on using those medicated acne pads!
Al, how can I make Katie see the light? I would really appreciate a response from you before I start my E-meter treatment today to free my Thetans from the influence of evil Engrams. Thanks!
--Tom, tomcruiseblog.blogspot.com

Dear Tom:
Tom, it's great that you're in love, just stop reminding us!

So what you're saying is you want Katie to clear up her pimples, but you want her to clear up her pimples by taking the road that you approve of, as opposed to a road that may work for her? If you truly love Katie, then let her clear up her pimples the way she sees fit, unless you prefer seeing her with whiteheads the size of peas!

I hope this helped! Now go and free your Thetans!