Argument with best friend. States I ditched her.

DearAL:
About an hour ago I had an argument with my best friend of about a year and a half. We go to law school together and are usually inseparable despite all the people we hang out with on campus. She recently got out of a relationship that ended badly and has changed the way she deals with people because of it, she's taken a zero tolerance approach with people.

I have now started seeing someone who is a mutual friend of ours and as of late her and him don't really see eye to eye. Because of this she doesn't go out with my boyfriend and I. So, in turn if my boyfriend would call me to go out I wouldn't call her up to avoid conflict until I could get them to both get along.

For the last three days, she wasn't calling me or texting me which I found odd since we speak everyday. She said I ditch her for guys and that she's tired of dealing with me and feels our friendship is dead. When I started dating my last boyfriend, she says I would make plans without her as well. She said that she's felt that way for awhile and has just kept quiet about it. She stated that everyone invites her out but her best friend doesn't and she is livid with me because of that. I tried to give an explanation, but she says I only make excuses for myself, and she wasn't having it. By the end of our conversation, she said she will see how things go for now, but she is unsure that I am capable of repairing my mistakes. What can I do to show her that I never meant to ditch her or offend her in any way and I value our friendship. Please help!

Thanks,
-- Becca

Dear Becca:
I know she's your friend, but life is short. You don't need this shit. The only mistakes made was her being a crabby as beotch. Let her have her space. Don't call her. And with this time to think maybe she'll come around or find someone else to make miserable..

If you do talk to her and she hasn't changed, tell her how you feel bad about what happened with her relatioship, but to stop being a downer or get lost! Sometimes tough love solves these problems, or escalates it into a cat-fight. Just be prepared. Have a helmet handy!

Boyfriend cheated. Did he ever loved me?

Dear AL:
I found out that my ex-bf has been two-timing me throughout the 3mths29days that we've been together. He has another long time gf of 17mths. This secret of his was exposed on the day when I happen to be in the same place as that couple. 3 of us quarrelled and he kept telling the girl he loves her and wants to be with her and he's very sorry. He totally ignored me and i was left to feel sorry for myself alone. Worse still, he told me straight in my face that "yes, I was two-timing u.So can u leave now". It hurts so much.
During the 3mths+ period, we did all sorts of couple things and he was nice to me as a bf. Assuring me of his love and says he misses me which totally sounded like he meant it. Because i'm someone who gets paranoid rather easily, he said things like "I don't hook up. I do couple-ly things with my gf only, and that's u". That is y i trusted him, even after i found suspicious things in his room, like hairband and a picture and letter from his most recent "ex"(his 17mths still ongoing long time gf). I told him just admit if he is really cheating but he chose to lie and gave acceptable reasons for the things i found. He told me this "ex" lasted 5mths and she still kept pestering him with msges and calls. She also kept threatening him with suicidial intentions. He told me he has been ignoring him until one day she stop bothering him.

Was he cheating with a shemale?

Continued...
I can't believe he said such things about her. And i can't believe he lied to me w/o battering an eyelid. On the first day after secret was exposed and i broke up with him, he said all he wants to say was a deep sorry. On the 2nd day after secret was exposed, I called to ask him if there was any moment when we were together, that he meant it when he say "i love u", or had true feelings for me for even a moment, he told me, "i really don't know". I said even a no answer won't hurt me, he still said the same reply.
I can never be with a man who cheats on me, even just once. I know i deserve better that's y i left him. Whereas she chose to stay with him, again, despite this not being the first time he cheats. According to her and to my astonishment, there were many girls before me during their 17mths tog. All i want to ask u is, do u think he has ever truly love me once? Or was i just a plaything/object in his eyes all the while?
-- Dianna

Dear Dianna:
I'm sorry to say that love was just a word to him. He probably doesn't mean it when he expressed his love for that guy, girl, whatever it is. Lets call her Frank.

He expressed his love to Frank in front of you and told you to leave. The scumbag did you a favor! When he said "I really don't know," when you asked him if he meant what he said about loving you in the past, he just wants to keep you wondering in hope you'll drop your guard enough so he could come back and use you again if things don't work out with his new toy.

Don't waste your time thinking about him. He's Franks problem now!

Look, you can do better. Take care of yourself.

Sexual Harrassment Complaint Over Joke

Dear AL:
I played a joke on a friend who made a sexual harrassment complaint against me. I hid under her desk, and when she came to work, I was going to surprise her by grabbing her legs, not knowing she was going to wear a dress that day. I decided not to touch her, but she saw me right away and nicked my head with a kick. I told her I was only wanted to play a joke and that I was sorry, but she pushed me out of her office and filed the complaint. Al, she always wears pants to work, and I didn't see anything when she wore a dress for the first time. They're thinking about firing me, but for the mean time moved me to a room in the basement! Al, what can I do? I'm so screwed!
-- Troubled in Australia

Yo Troubled:
You bet your ass you're screwed. I'm afraid there's nothing you can do to dig yourself out of this hole, but look at the bright side. You're still alive! :-)

Plz dun advice me on evythng belo. Thanx

Dear AL:
This is kinda gonna b a long stori..bt hope u help me out wid this..its killing me a bit dese days..obv if im not so desperate i wudnt be cuming to u..
Ok..
Btw..im a guy..not a joke..srs here..
I have a best friend...lets keep his name as A..hope the letters dunt confuse u too much..then i have this other best friend and lets call her M...
Ok..one of the problems is that im dam possessive of M...the thing is..i have a lot of feelings for her...more than a friend..n so dus she for me..bt we both r best friends so we decided to leave it bc our friendship is much more imp than going out or ny other crap..bt both of us mutually love each other a bit more than a friend n i am so madly possessive of her...
Ive read a few of ur old posts...in those u say possessive ppl r dry n they js make u loose ur personal space..ur ryt at tyms...bt ryt nw im the one giving u advice lol... she loves it wen im possessive of her bc she njois all the stf i do for her.. wen i get jealous or nything..shes tol me a million tyms that i have feelings for u bc of the way u care for me n the way ur possessive of me.. N i cnt be friends wid her widout being possessive of her...both possessiveness and being friends wid her go hand in hand..
(Value your IQ? Click this to skip to advice "Yo Ronaldo".)

Bt nw cums the hard part..
Sumtyms...it kills me...wen M toks2nybody else...i try my best not to show it...i no that im *ucking selfish..bt then thats hw i am...n i hide it bc i dun want her to loose her friends bc of the way i behave...bt then it hurts me lyk hell everyday..
N wen M toks to A(the guy best friend in the beginning)dts wen its the worst...M has tol me a million tyms that im the closest to her than nybody else in the whole world...bt still wen M speaks to nybody else or A it hurts me a lot...i no...it sux...totalli...bt i feel lyk i bcum less important to her at those tyms..and i cnt control myself till she finishes..n i get impatient..wen shes toking2nybody else..n wen her fone is ngaged...i feel so incomplete...so sad n depressd...i w8 for her to finish toking2nybody..n only wen she dus...do i feel lyk doing sumthn else..
N another thing...nythng that M says...hurts me lyk hell...i am a very senti person...n nythng she says or nybody for that matter...kills me insyd...i cry frm the insyd lyk hell..and sumtyms outsyd too..
The thing is...i still love her a lot...n ryt nw wer in college in totally different places in the world...n i no nothing is gonna happen..bt then i js keep wishing that mayb she wud change her mind...i no in the beginning i said we mutually agreed not to have ny shit..bt nw i feel lyk i love her more than nyboyd else in the world...n im ready to do nythng for her...
K AL...temme...wt do i need to do abt the possessiveness?bc wen she toks to sum1 else...or evn wid A(A and i r roomies in our college ryt nw)wen wer in the room...i cnt bear the agony...its lyk sum1 is stabbing me or sumthn...n then aftr that i wudnt be able to tok2her properly at all..for atleast a day..n she keeps asking y..n i tell her ntnz rong,..bt in reality...im js so glued to her dt i dun want ny1 in the world other than me to have her..n i no thats unfair..so dts y i want2no sum way..in which i cn take my mind off things n js forget abt it..n not tink abt it...n njoi the tyms that i get wid her..i js want2no sum way...in which i can take control over my possesivenes..
U cn forget M nw bc the stori wid M is over..
Here comes the second one..
Me n A(the guy)..r the best of best friends(and roomies)...n he means more than the world to me..
The thing is...for sumtym since lyk a month bak..some things r getting on my nerves...n there r many things i dunt understand...y im feeling lyk this,and wt i need to do to get over it.
The thing is..wen i came to college...i had my set of friends..n there were these 2guys who i wz rely close to..me n those two guys used to hang out majority of the tym in the first 2weeks of college..n then i introduced them to A...n since then...they stik wid A much more than me..
The thing is...nytym theres ny plan...or nythng...they call up A..n they tell A to tell me...in the first few wekks i wz the one wid them...n nw its totally the opposite..n it hurts me hw things hv changed..i feel lyk i wz robbed of my friends...n this has bin getting on my nerves for sum reason..
N sumtyms wen i turn up for sum plan...n A dusnt cum...both of them get so sad n they keep asking me y..n that irritates me...another thing is wen A says yes to sumthn both of them start rejoicing and they get so happy whreas since then they don’t actually worry so much if i cum or no...
I hvnt bin wid them since the last2weeks...ive got my own set of friends nw...n we go out separately..
N nw im js scared to intro ny more friends to him....bc i feel lyk they mite forget me n move on wid him..
I no this is not jealousy.,..i am happy for everytym A is happy..in each n everything...if sumthn gud for A happens...i am so happy for it..
Bt this is so different..i dunno wt to do abt it...n it dusnt stop here..
These days...wen our common friends ask abt A...i get evn more irritated...n i feel lyk evy1 in the world is more worid abt him than me..this hapnd twice or thrice recently...wen our common friend calls...n he/she speaks to me for a min n then speaks to A for an hr n keeps widout saying a bye to me...those things hurt me lyk crap..n three of my friends did the same thing to me...n those things hurt me lyk hell..
N this is the first tym im hving issues wid A...bc we hv never had nythng lyk this b/w us..
And nw evythng is getting on my nerves...our friends in college who prefer A....our common friends who keep asking abt A..nwen M toks to A...n its all getting to me...n wen he dus tok1nyboyd in the above group...it hurts me...it literally spoils my day..
Bt i dunno y..
Here comes problem number 3..
A has a best friend..lets cl her P...n me n P r very very very close friends..n since wer all in different colleges she comes onlyn to tok2us...n we cn make it n tok 2her only at sumtyms of the day..
Nw obv for P, A is more imp than i am...n i accept that too.. n i am the second most important person to P after A....n i totally understand that...n sumtyms...wen P cums onlyn n im there...n wen she asks abt A...i get totally pissd of abt it...bc she neva asks for me wen im not onlyn...bt she asks for A wen im onlyn..wt the hell is dt?y cnt she tok2me wen im deR?
N wen P calls up A...n she speaks to him n keeps the fone widout toking2me...it hurts me evn more...i no imnot as close as A...bt shes cling frm so far off..y the *uck cnt she tok2me to?wudnt that get me irritated?
N sumtyms.wen P and i have a fite...n it hurts me lyk hell lyk i tol u b4...n it ink abt it n i cnt forget it till i solve it wid P or ny1 else for dt matter..n in dose tyms...P behaves lyk she dusnt evn care...n she toks2A evn though im crying my heart out here bc of wt hapnd...n dt hurts me a lot more..
N i wana tell u sumthn...P is a gr8 person n one of the my closest friends ever..and she dus love me...bt sumtyms i feel lyk its not as much as i love her..
Yea..i rely need ur advice..
One suggestion, plz dun advice me to cut friendship wid A, M, or P...because they matter a lot to me n some of the closest ppl in my lyf widout whom i cnt evn live..
Tell me sumthn abt hw i cn get over this n forget things quickly...n hw to get over evythng ive mentioned above..
Thanx a lot
-- Ronaldo, Indonesia

Yo Ronaldo:
You seriously think I'm going to waste me time deciphering this shit?
I'm not a cryptologist!

Listen, pick up a dictionary and correct everything you wrote above. You might get a headache, but you'll be alright. Only then will I expand your cranium with wisdom that would put the Dalai Lama to shame. Kapeesh?!

u woant beh dispointet.

Swine Flu: Daughter Afraid of Guinea Pig

Dear Al:
Since my 7 year old daughter found out about the Swine Flu, and that it came from pigs, she doesn't want to play with her guinea pig anymore. I tried to explain to her that she doesn't have to worry about getting sick from Simon, her guinea pig, but she keeps telling me it's also a pig, and if I knew that he didn't come from Guinea? And you know what, I didn't. After I gave her a hug, she slowly walked away, and looked at Simon from a distance saying goodbye to him. I almost cried! What can I do to show her that she doesn't have to worry about getting sick from him?
-- Judith, Wyoming

Dear Judith:
Remind her that her guinea pig is a rodent, so there is no way she will catch the swine flu from him. And if that doesn't work, take her and her guinea pig to the vet for a check-up. I'm sure they will be more than happy to help you quench her fear.

Tell your daughter about the media assholes who are making a mountain out of a mole hill about this virus. They prey on fear to boast ratings to attract sponsors who are all just looking to make a profit. Good luck trying to explain that sentence.

Kw's: H1N1, H1N2, H3N1, H3N2, H2N3, SIV, hog, influenza, C, A, seasonal, pandemic