She Wouldn't Listen!

Dear Al:
For years I've been teaching my daughter right from wrong, that some boys just want only one thing, but she wouldn't listen.
My teenage daughter turned into every boys dream, a plaything with accessories.
She had a different boyfriend almost every other month for over 3 years, but none for the last 6 months since she's pregnant with a baby girl.

AL, my daughter told me to write you, do you have any advice?
-- Dawn, Paris, France

Dear Easy:
Do you know who the father is? Of course you do! It was Frédéric, Fabio, Leon, Serge, Pierre, and the rest of France!

Don't start that crap again with dating the city of Paris right after your daughter is born! Learn how to be alone until the right guy comes along, unless you prefer being their plaything, then more power to you, and babies!

Happy Easter People! Gmail anyone?

I know I've been a bit of a ghost on most of your blogs, but that's because of all the projects I've got going on, staying up late working, and feeling tired all the time. How do you all do it?

Anyway, I want to wish you all a Happy Easter, and to let you know I have 13 Gmail invites! If you're on my blogroll, and want your very own Gmail account, send me a message in the form in my sidebar with your current email address.

What's this, you already have a Gmail account? Hey! Don't get loud with me! I'm trying to do something nice here, so back-off! Sheesh!

If you want a Gmail account, write! Now go eat some eggs! :)

Love of my life is not listening to me!

Dear Al:
I'm in love! I met this incredibly awesome beautiful girl that rocks my world! Her name is Katie! Since Katie came into my life, something extraordinary magnificent has happened to me that I can't restrain myself since I'm so happy! I made a fool out of myself not long ago while I was jumping on a friends couch laughing manically "I'm in love! I'm in love!", but that's ok. I'm really happy because Katie is an extraordinary woman! My friends are happy for me, people I know, my mom and my whole family are happy for me! But I have a little problem, not that I'm saying I'm not happy, because I am since I love Katie so much! Katie is starting to develop pimples on her face, but they'e not gross yet, just it doesn't look good. Katie wants to start using medicated acne pads for her face, which I'm totally agains't! Those acne pads introduces chemicals to the body which are harmful, because I know since I've done the research. I explained to Katie that all she has to do to get rid of the pimples is to take vitamins and exercise, but she insists on using those medicated acne pads!
Al, how can I make Katie see the light? I would really appreciate a response from you before I start my E-meter treatment today to free my Thetans from the influence of evil Engrams. Thanks!
--Tom, tomcruiseblog.blogspot.com

Dear Tom:
Tom, it's great that you're in love, just stop reminding us!

So what you're saying is you want Katie to clear up her pimples, but you want her to clear up her pimples by taking the road that you approve of, as opposed to a road that may work for her? If you truly love Katie, then let her clear up her pimples the way she sees fit, unless you prefer seeing her with whiteheads the size of peas!

I hope this helped! Now go and free your Thetans!

I Think Too Much

Dear Al:
I think way too much about things that other people never seem to even notice.
What should I do?
-- Annika, www.expatsinitaly.com/annika

Dear Annika:
Stop thinking!

Cheating Friend

Dear Al:
I have a friend that has been cheating on her husband for over a year with one man. Her husband works out of the country for weeks at a time so she has a lot of time to carry on with this other guy. The thing is, her husband isn't the nicest guy in the world (he's sometime physically and emotionally abusive). The other man, is someone she virtually takes care of. She pays bills for him, buys him clothing, picks up the tabs when they go out, everything. He practically lives there when the husband is out of town. She claims she's in love with this guy and will not leave him alone, even though she know's he sees other women (so does her husband, yes this is a messy situation). The thing is though, the other week, she calls me and says "I'm going to tell my husband I let you borrow $1,000 but really I'm going to give it to [the other man] so he can pay his court fees" (he got a DUI). So I immediately was like hell no don't put me in the middle of your stories! So my question is, if the shit ever hit the fan (which I know it will) I don't want to be an accessory to this whole thing. Should I tell her I don't want to hang out with her anymore? Even though I know what she's been doing I know I can't be responsible for what a grown woman decides to do. But since I am actually a friend to her and her husband, and thinking about it I'm her only female friend (husband doesn't approve of her having many friends). I just feel like I'm caught in the middle of something that's going to conclude in a very, very brutal manner.
-- Caught in the middle, theartofstiltwalking.blogspot.com

Dear Caught:
A friend wouldn't try to pull you into her mess and risk a friendship. Doesn't sound like she gives a damn about you, just the leech that's taken her for a fool! Yes, don't hang out with her anymore. Drop her and her husband like a bad habit, avoid their place like the GAP! ;)

Don't be caught in the middle like the cream in an Oreo cookie, they'll chew your ass up! I hope this helped!